Well after nearly 3 years of a roller-coaster ride, I'm glad that I took myself off. I never thought that I would be so accepting of this as I am, and maybe the happy face isn't the 'right' symbol for this. I'm not happy but I've found my peace. I haven't truly accepted this as the 'best' thing for me, in fact I'm 100% sure that I've lost out on a wonderful future. WH doesn't think so and has spent 3 years stripping me of all hope.
Quick update: WH had A while I was pregnant. Spent the following year after Son was born on the roller-coaster ride. Then things began to get better. So much so that we bought a home together that we were to raise a family in, talked about getting pregnant this fall etc.
Last month WH went away on a 'business' trip. Yep OW went with him, she's a co-worker. I changed the banking, actually got my own line of credit, changed the locks on the door etc. I realized that week was the first time I had felt 'peace' in three years. I didn't know where I was going to end up but I felt a sense of being in control of where I was going. I didn't have to face someone everyday and know they were lying and cheating on me.
So now we're dealing with the legal separation first. I spoke to a lawyer who said I don't have to wait one year before filing for divorce. Adultery grants me the right to file right away. We can in fact be divorced in the early part of the New Year and he can become OW's H#3.
I'm planning my life for my son and myself. I'm tired of playing the role of the loving, faithful wife. It got me nowhere. I know there's a debate whether plan A is a good plan or if it allows us to be doormats. I think it's a good thing, it's sometimes the people we apply it to lack morals and integrity that they don't recognize how blessed they are and treat us as doormats.
So I'm off but I'll be checking out this site as well. It's where I spent most of my time!!
Thanks to everyone here at MB. I wouldn't have kept my sanity if it weren't for you all.

searching, I can relate to your journey as well as the feeling of acceptance that comes when you get off the roller coaster. You made a good point about plan A - it's good for us, but doesn't necessarily do anything for our marriages or our WS to whom we direct it.

I know the feeling of not knowing where you're going next, but now I look at it more as an adventure than as something to fear. Surviving the ordeal has actually boosted my self-esteem as far as my ability to take care of myself.

Thanks LetStry
I'm actually working with a woman in her 50s now who split with her husband when her kids were 2, 3 & 7. She raised them on her own, bought the house from her husband, paid the bills on a freelance salary and walks proud now.
I know my H can never do that - he's a dishonourable man who will be walking out on his family to be a woman who destroyed her own family to be with him. Some kind of mother she is!!
I know that I have done all I can to save my marriage. The one thing I've been hearing for 3 years now which is not true is one person cannot save the marriage - we can probably sustain it for a while on our own, but it won't last. I've also come to realize that it takes 2 people to make a marriage work but only one to destroy it (or maybe it does take 2 when you consider the OP)
I think I'll keep Searching for Hope1 although I'm no longer searching for it within my marriage but within myself.