Not sure what's going on here. WW is still here and even showing some moderate, but token, signs of affection (the "I love yous") and so forth. Still Plan Aing and trying to spend more time together and I've been seeing a therapist who tells me to work on myself since I can't control others, but who is very marriage friendly and advises we reach a state of recommitment to marriage. When that happens, he says, get some sort of ground rules in place. Talk to my wife, who couldnt' attend the counseling but says she will soon, and I say "I told him we're following the guidelines set in MB. Is that correct" and she nods. So no real "Yes, definately" from her, but at least there's that.
Anyway, pressing on with life as best I can, trying to give her space and at the same time being engaged. However, I get this sense that when it comes to OR talks, she's not into it unless I'm talking all about me. For reference, we both had affairs, I was a distant husband for 18 years, but her affair was the one that prompted the DDay.
So my question: Distant wife not engaging in active talks about relationship just two months into the rebuilding -- good or bad or what? Distant wife was talking about moving out a week ago, but pending surgery and finances slowed that talk. I'm thinking she's sticking around for the kids and other reasons, and has no intention of working on this marriage. I worry that she's just going to make me do the work and see if that reignites her love for me. She claims she loved the OM greatly, and he's a co-worker (but she's said she will quit after the surgery and he's been out of the picture for three weeks and is being such a tool he is quickly drawing down her love bank.)
Thoughts?
