CarolynG,
I think if you change the topic of this thread to something about: contacting OW you will get a gazillion replys!
I think this is different for everyone although I am going to vote yes, contact OW. For me it was to bring closure. I think there should be one AND ONLY one contact so you should think REAL hard and wait awhile before you do it. PLUS you should expect nothing in return from them in the confrontation.
Here is an email I sent to OW after H sent her a no contact email. (she didn't respond)
OW,
H sent you an email that said he has hurt some
people by continuing an inappropriate relationship with you. H is a grown man and he is responsible for his own actions but you did play a part in it. My God says to love you and bless you and pray for you. Although I am mad at you I will pray you will never have to go through the pain and heartbreak that my family is experiencing now. I did feel like I had a
responsibility to share my heart because me and my kids are real people with real feelings and real hurt.
I LuvNprotect ME
Here is a part of an article that I think supports my decision. The rest of the article can be found here:
The Simple Scoop on Boundaries Limiting Evil
One of the other aspects of boundaries that is important is the limiting effect upon evil. Remember, because God does not control people, they are, in a certain way, free to be evil. He does not make them be good. He limits His sovereignty and control in some ways that we do not totally understand. But, even though He allows them to be evil, He limits the effects of their choices. He exercises limits on the effect that their choices will have on Him, His church, the world, etc.
He has also given us this duty, to limit the effect that evil choices that people make can have on life. One of the best examples of that is in Matthew 18:15-18. It is the role of us to take a stand and “bind” evil as it presents itself. Read Psalms 101 for a great description of how David thought about the things that must be bound so that the evil of others would not “cling” to him.
In addition, He wants us to limit the effect that the evil is having on their life as well. He wants us to restore those who get “caught up,” by evil. We are to put boundaries on the cancer that is destroying them and be redemptive in their lives. (Gal. 6:1)
God is about Life. He is about restoring good things. And to do that, evil things must be held in check and transformed. He has given us many tools to perform this function of the salt that seasons the earth:
Truth and Commands
Confrontation
Rebuke
Exhortation
Forgiveness
Group Intervention
Consequences
Discipline
Restoration
Limit Setting
Separation
These are some of the processes that God has told us to do that limit and restore evil. And, they work. The problem is that we do not exercise our control and responsibility to do these things in our significant relationships, the church, and the world at large. As has been the story since the garden of Eden, the mess is largely of our own making. If we would use our self-control to do these things, then we would not have the messes in various aspects of life in which we find ourselves. We have misused our freedom. But, the good news of boundaries is that you can take control back in your own areas of influence, and begin to limit evil and restore life.
<small>[ September 06, 2002, 10:02 AM: Message edited by: I LuvNprotect ME ]</small>
