Trying not to read much into it... but thinking ws may be just thinking of an excuse to contact me... he knew we , kids and I, planned go to the beach this weekend.. and bad weather is in Galveston.. maybe flooding and etc.

Anyway, here is the email after no phone conversations or emails for 2 days.. i did page him, but did not answer when he called me.

Comments? it seems kind of stupid but I am hoping it was some stab at communicating or contact with me?

L, I hope you are not going to try and take the kids to the beach t
his weekend. Tell me you are not that crazy. Your car will be washed away.

Waywared spouse. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Honey,
Tell me you are not that crazy

He's such a charmer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

I wouldn't try to read anything into it, just accept it as it is, an email showing a little concern for the kids & a jab at you.

Honey,

Why did you page him and then not answer his call? Was there some reason you paged him?

I wouldn't read anything into the email either, but I would continue to not contact him. Including sending him pages!

I don't think he was being concered, I think he is trying to pull your chain. Trying to get you to react.

Who in their right mine would go to Galveston this wk? They are evacuating people all ready with it just excepted to get worse. As it is now going in to Freeport area (channel 13 just said so0; we are going to be on the worse side, reminds me of Alica (you are too young)now they say it may be a hurricane before landfall.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Honey:
<strong>I hope you are not going to try and take the kids to the beach this weekend. Tell me you are not that crazy. Your car will be washed away.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">oh, where's Orchid, and her RB, we really need her, whatever you do, don't reply back immediately, let him wait!!!!! I am assuming that the tropical storm is coming near there???

Hmm, I am going to have to think on this one, just got an email from my WH also, I'll put it in my post.

Honey - He is trying to get a rise out of you ... Do not reply... do not stoop to his childish level... He wants you to reply so he can say you are crazy... Just ignore him - continue to not call, email or respond to him... You are doing good...

before I got the messages FROM YOU GUYS... , here is my reply PLAN A MODE...

Jim, We are not going and might go next weekend or when the weather gets better.

If you want to do something fun with all of us, or even just go out with me... tonight would work.. let me know.

L

here's what I got back from the charmer....

Can't do it. No money. I have to live on $14 for the next 10 days, so I will not even be using my phone.

Maybe next week I will have somehow gotten some money. I was thinking the beach might be OK, but I need to get a sticker before I go driving.

I am also wary that your next "phone tricks" or email hacking will happen soon, so I am watching....


Isnt he sweet? No reply to the second email.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Honey - I understand the need to reply believe I do but don't do it again - If he wants to go to the beach or go out with you let him invite you - Don't beg him he will just say that you are crazy or something else that is going to upset you..... And you know this...Of course like I have said on many occasions I should follow my own advice for sure - but I don't always.... I hope you have a great weekend... And try not to dwell on emails - do something fun with you and your boys or just relax and try not to think about all of the crap - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> !!!

Honey - You know a thought just came to my mind... hasn't your husband ever heard of McDonalds or Burger King - there is no reason that a grown man has to live on $14.00 for the next how ever many days - I mean give me a break - tell him to get a job....

Honey:

"here's what I got back from the charmer....
Can't do it. No money. I have to live on $14 for the next 10 days, so I will not even be using my phone."

What, does his phone bill come within the next 10 days?

"Maybe next week I will have somehow gotten some money."

Try knocking over a liquor store! (ol' 2long isn't REALLY advocating theft, mind you!)

"I was thinking the beach might be OK, but I need to get a sticker before I go driving."

Hm... his car isn't registered? Bet it isn't insured, either.

"I am also wary that your next "phone tricks" or email hacking will happen soon, so I am watching....

Isnt he sweet?"

YES!! He ISN'T sweet!!

"No reply to the second email.."

Good for you. Now borrow that time machine from H. G. Wells and go back and retract that LAST one! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ September 06, 2002, 06:39 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

Honey,

Reverse babbler says: No replies will make him wonder!!!

U have a prime opportunity knowing that he may be strapped for cash and his OWs like a $$ man.....

So go out and have fun with your family. Doesn't have to cost much but have a million bucks worth of fun to talk about!!! Howz that for fog talk!??!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

Honey -- I've tried to keep up with all of your posts. I can tell you from experience that pulling back and not responding is the best course of action. My WH felt like I was controlling him and frankly when I really look at the situation I was more and more over the years. Like your WH he made some bad decisions and so I felt like I needed to step in and take control/fix things. It happened gradually over 10 years of marriage. It has taken an enormous amount of looking at myself and recognizing I have these issues to really back off.

I know it is hard for you, but two things are happening when you contact him right now. First, he is being unnecessarily cruel to you. Second, it "proves" to him that you need to control him -- remember it took a long time for you to get here and it's going to take a long time for you to show him that you don't need to "fix" him. I know he has many problems from the posts you've made and I really feel for you.

Please please please do what the kind and wise people of this forum ask you to do out of concern for you -- do not get in touch with him right now.

It is hard and it takes an incredible amount of patience. In some ways we are also like addicts when we are dealing with addicts -- we become addicted to fixing the other person and it is not good for either person.

You have been doing so well the last few days and I hope you can break yourself of the need to contact him. I will be thinking of you and sending you willpower, strength and love.

thanks everyone.. there was a brief phone converstaion last nite.. more of his poor me/s... now his landlord is mad at him and also trying to raise the rent... GEE? H does claim to have a new job.. it is kind oflike... after a certain point one has to work to survive, right?

Anyway- you are very right 2 long abuot the car and all... he is irresponsible alcoholic right now... it is sad. I always made sure he and us were ok... Now I did detach a lot in the marriage.... and I did not talk to a drinker... drunk... I did not have sf with anyone who had been drinking... and when someone drinks a lot at nite that changes the relationship...

what else, there is more... but now he and his actions have sooo crosseed the line.

Orchid, you are right in his broke ness there is an opportunity for me to show real love, as I do really love him.. and ow
s were more looking for a good time.... it is hard to love who he is right now.. prob. unless you are the maid import. The ow number one kind of started to realize what he is really like including went back to her H. But ow one is also big big party person and now just lets her h take care of her... I think she was hoping to find a little more charming and better looking sugar dadddy... but she did not .. she found a lying sweet talking... (not in his mails to me>>>>) alcoholic... he can sweet talk, and that is part of how he got me.. being from GA.. the good old southern charm was quite a hook for me.

It's gettting old folks.

I am working hard on my budge t as I am having some issues with it... and working on my side business my house and some sweing today. wont be calling.Thanks for the support.

I know these emails seemeed petty..b ut that is all I have right now... in communication and I do have to be careful what I do back to them.

Thanks again for all the advice to everyone...

Have a wonderful saturday... surviving Fay in NW Houston. Just lots of rain here.. but need to ck the news!

Honey

You sound better today Honey. Hope you don't get too much rain and you and your boys can enjoy the weekend.

thanks unsureheart. Made a meeting this morning... alanon, it was good and a dose of peace. Being around and talking to people who do not do what my h does really helps... He is always attacking me.

I love Dr. PHil's - How is that working for yoU? ANd I am considering this a LOT with my phone calls to h>.. my begging to h, my pleading and my trying to get him to see it my way... PLEASE.. it does not work. I am reminded that only he and his higher power can decide if he wants to be in this marriage.

I have quite a lot on my side of the street to do, and will work on it diligently... as I do this I know I will do better.

Thanks for being here, HONEY