I really try not to be the pessimist -- it's what has gotten me through this whole thing so far. But, back when I first found out and the whole thing was still going on for 3-4 months, I had this gut feeling and nightmares that told me he was lying. They stopped for the past few months and then this weekend they started up again.

I tried to dismiss them, but my WH's behavior has gone back to what it was previously -- unexplained time (even though we don't live together we talk every day), conflicting information about what he's doing/where he's been, and really backing off in terms of talking to me.

This morning, I knew he didn't have any appointments based on our brief chat last night and he calls from his car this a.m. I asked, where are you driving from, he pauses and says, "uh, the bank". Then he says that he would like to come over tomorrow to talk. I have no idea why, but I said "Can I ask you something?" He said yes. I said "Is something going on again". His response was "No, why?" I told him I was having nightmares again and left it at that.

We talked about something mundane like lawnmower repair and then he asked me "What makes you think this is happening again".

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but his reponses sound weird. In the past few months if I asked, his response was "No, on the last shreds of my honor I am not in this relationship right now. You have no reason to believe me based on the lies I have told you, but it really has ended". Now, I get "No, why?" as if he is trying to figure out if/how I know he's up to this baloney again.

I really do not think I can take another d-day after all of the ups and downs. I haven't asked/pressed or anything for months and just let it go, but for some reason this oppressing and disturbing nightmares caused me to ask.

I suspect he's coming over tomorrow to ask for divorce. I suppose if that's the case I should try Orchid's reverse babble of "Yes, go ahead" or something like that.

I am really down this morning. I tried to stay upbeat on the phone and agree to a time tomorrow to talk. I'm not sure what to do here.

Ouch, sounds like you're not having a great day either

One thing I've learnt - I trust now my gut feel. Before, I sort of suspected something, but it simply couldn’t be true, that's why I ignored it. Similarly, I tried and tried and tried to make a better connection with WW, each time I was told off because of this, because of that. Now, at least I understand.

I wouldn’t get too paranoid about tomorrow's meeting him though. Play it one shot at a time. Don't know how to react if he indeed asks for a D, sorry, no suggestions here.

Take care,
N

Because I am female, I can "get away" with asking this kind of question <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (take heed guys, YOU usually can NOT "get away" with this <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )

Are you having your period this week or next week?

Have you ever noticed weird dreams and a more vigilant mood around your "time of the month"?

HUGS

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Nick -- Thanks for your thoughts/ I know you're down today too.

Pepperband -- I wish it was PMS, but no, I am not about to have it or in the midst of it. He really is acting different than he has the past two months. Maybe it's a reaction like you get from watching horror movies -- I'm coming to this site too much and hearing about other people's WH's asking for Ds and saying crazy babble and so I'm having nightmares about it. Hope that's it, but I have this really pervasive feeling that it's more than that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by unsureheart:
<strong>...I'm coming to this site too much and hearing about other people's WH's asking for Ds and saying crazy babble and so I'm having nightmares about it. Hope that's it...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope so, too, Unsureheart. Gosh, after so many lies and partially-revealed secrets we begin to doubt our own thoughts and even our sanity. It's all so crazy. Bless your heart. I really, really hope your H is coming over to have a hear-to-heart R talk that does NOT involve D. At least you have a "heads up" and can prepare for the talk, as much as that's possible not knowing what he wants to talk about.

Anyway, your comment about having nightmares after reading so much here got my attention. That very thing happened to me last week. I hardly ever stray out of GQII and Recovery, but I happened to be reading a thread on JFO where a BS said her FWH mentioned having a 3-way with her and former OW! She was devastated, as you can imagine.

I mentioned it to my H that morning, and we agreed that must have been VERY painful for that lady to hear something so sick from her H.

That VERY night I had a nightmare about H wanting to have a 3-way with me and OW#1. The dream was intense and painful, but I've been thru enough to know I had to talk about it with H ASAP. He held me and chuckled about my "weird" sub-conscious.

I really have to be careful that certain posts I read here don't spill over into suspicions and fears in my own life. No need to invent problems and pains that have no basis...I've had enough in the past to last 2 lifetimes!

I'll be thinking about you and your talk tomorrow. I hope it goes well.

Lori

I'll be praying for you too UH, hang in there!
Monika

Thank you at peace and still waiting. I am calmer now. I manage to do this kind of stupid LB about once every 5-6 weeks. I am usually ok if I can go get some exercise (which I did tonight) and try to think more rationally. He'll be over at about 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. I am NOT going to LB no matter what.

Unsure,

what happened???

Hi pq -- The whole weekend really drained me and then I had a meeting with his therapist yesterday who was imploring me to somehow get him back to therapy for his depression (which preceded the A) and is very concerned about him. I'm going to post an update in my other thread as soon as I can gather all of my thoughts.

I read your post last night and will try and respond to you there also -- my heart goes out to you. All I can say is that I heard the exact same things from WH that your WH is saying to you now.

Hi unsure!

I will check you other post. I hope you are doing okay, you sounded tired. Take Care of yourself, and I look forward to an update.