I am also a WS who is continuing to work with OM. The A is over and I keep away from him as much as possible. Although I am very angry and disillusioned about him and thought I was over him, maybe I'm not... we spoke for the first time in weeks on Friday about work-related topic and all of a sudden this weekend, I am back to square one. How do you continue to work with OM and keep your sanity? This is killing me! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Honey, I am struggling with this one too. I've barely had any contact with OM and found my mind wandering off in directions I wish it wouldn't. I even went as far as asking on my "My H doesn't love me anymore" thread if it would be okay if I just emailed OM to find out if he ever told his wife. Of course, I got a resounding NO from everyone.

I think the only way to survive is to intentionally avoid the OM at all costs, and keep contact to only work required situations. One intelligent piece of advice that someone gave me on that other thread was, "Avoid being a source of unhappiness for your spouse." If we are even communicating with the OM, it would be a major loss of trust for our spouse, and would really hurt them too. I'd like to be able to tell my H if and when he's willing to talk to me again that I've had little or no contact with the OM.

When my H isn't around to meet my needs at all right now, I know I'm even more susceptible to any advances the OM may make. I have to force myself to stay away and maintain virtually no contact. Otherwise I may be encouraging OM, and allowing myself to end up back at square one.

Jen

<small>[ September 08, 2002, 04:12 PM: Message edited by: Jen Brown ]</small>

bump

where are you neverthought???

NT - I don't know how you can - I certainly couldn't, and perhaps more to the point wouldn't because I know how much it would damage me to see OM on a daily basis. Not only would it damage me, my BS, his BS and him too.

It's a cruel life sometimes, but you know the only way to make it better/easier, is to move away and have NC whatsoever. You know that too.

Lisa

Hi Jen Brown - thank you so much for your post. I've written your email down and will be contacting you. I had a serious migraine this morning and am still not up to par. I appreciate your help and will be in touch soon.