Hello my MB friends, man it's been long since I last posted, sorry I still follow all of your stories, but I didn't have many news. My recovery is doing ok.
Well it has been a rather shaky weekend.
It started with me having to work through saturday morning, and having a nice day at the movies later.
It was shaping up to be a great day with my FWH, that untill we decided to watch a second movie. While we were walking to the theater we bumped into one of FMW's kids. I didn't recognize him, because he is growing so very fast. But Andrei greeted him and we exchanged hugs. I love these kids, it's their mom I have a problem with heh... anyways, he told us his mom was somewhere in the theater watching a movie, and then went his own way.
I looked at my FWH, who was visibly shaken. I told him not to worry, he asked if I'd rather leave, because he didn't want to bump into this woman, who none of us can stand at all. I told him I wasn't going to be shaken or scared by a woman of such low caliber and little morals or value. That it was her the one that should be scared of bumping into us, not backwards.
I held his arm and we went window shopping for a while before the movie started. That calmed him down, and he felt much better.
The movie was great, very funny, and lifted our spirits a bit. When we got back home I had my scholarship check waiting for me on my mailbox, YAY!!! So it all picked up well enough. But still it bothered me on the back of my head, triggers are sometimes too colosal to forget so easily.
I tried to be upbeat and cheerful, I was very tired, so sleep came easy, but I had some nightmares I cannot even remember, which kicked me into a funk in the morning.
When I woke up I felt a strange heaviness in the heart, as if someone had dropped in a little pebble of doubt again.
I had no reason to doubt my FWH, he had been wonderful, reasuring, held me proudly, and he really, REALLY doesn't want to do anything to do with the FMW.
I reached the conclusion I was just into trigger-o-rama, and I should take it easy, but I started to babble. Asking my FWH if he had anything to tell me he hadn't told me before. We are only days from d-day #3, so I get paranoid.
It all went down hill from there to a very nonsense conversation with me in a thick fog like peasoup, asking him what he would do if any of the FOW or exGF turned out to be pregnant and have his kid. It all just went terribly wrong from there.
I managed to cool down after some crying and apologized to him, but nevertheless I got very depressed, by my own doing anyways.
We went out to celebrate that I had gotten my scholarship money and that I was back to work. I was suppossed to have my money deposited over the saturday on my account, so I decided to pay for lunch. The card bounced, which has happened before, and which makes me really MAD, I mean, the money is there, but it still bounces, it distresses me, embarrasses me, and all for nothing. My FWH had enough money to pay so it was no biggie, but still, it bugged me more than usual.
He was an angel and very sweet, took me around untill I steamed, (I was mad at the bank only), and he made me laugh a bit later.
We came home, and went to kinkos to do some copies for some project of mine. While doing it I got stressed AGAIN! Maybe I am PMS'ing or something, but it is still soon for that. So I attributed it all to being depressed from what happened the day before.
He once again saved the day, was patient, loving and helped me sort things out so I got all my stuff finished. I thanked him very much and gave him a kiss and told him what a hero he had been <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .
We went to walmart to get some cat stuff, I stayed in the car because we had brought the cat with us, and I was playing with him when he came literally running from the store, with what we needed.
I opened the door for him, he threw the stuff in and said something in between the lines of: The FMW was in there with her D and some guy. I had to run so I didn't have to talk to her.
I felt bad for him because he was very very tense. So I tried to reasure him that he was safe and ok.
He has a kind of serious post-traumatic sydrome related to this FMW in particular. She did the equivalent of rape on him, and a lot of psychological manipulation she has admitted openly to us and PROUDLY of doing.
My poor FWH gets physically ill to even think of her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
It is wonderful we moved and changed our phone #. I couldn't handle a call from that person or any other ex of anything of that sort. He gets sick just thinking of it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Gonna go give my FWH a big hug and try to make him feel better.
