Originally posted in Pregnancy/Child board:

I'm still waiting for answers on my other post (not complaining just explaining), but I'm about to burst. So I decided to start a new thread so as not to confuse myself or anyone else. I'm very irritated and H is gone so I can be in b*tch mode if I want!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Background info - I don't think I mentioned this on a post at the time, but about a week or two after H came home from road trip in August I was getting in his tool box for something. I noticed that the damn envelope that he kept necklace and zippo that she gave him in and the other envelopes with letters and pictures from her were all scattered (normally this is in a neat pile in the corner of the drawer). This is the stuff he told me he mailed back to her last year when he broke it off with her; busted him the same day (duh, hide something in a tool box so when I look for a hammer I see it--smart, real smart). Well I picked up the envelope that held the necklace and the zippo in it and saw that the necklace was missing. I searched the drawer and all the other damn envelopes and couldn't find the necklace. I was still in my snooping things at this time and went through H's pants' pockets looking for it. I never found it and told H (when he woke up) that the necklace was missing and the story about how I noticed it was gone. H said he didn't know where it had went and he hadn't even been in the tool box since he got home. H asked if I looked in his pants to see if it was there and I told him yes that I had. He said, "Well, was it there?" I said, No, but didn't know if he had taken it out for some reason and if he didn't take it who did (I sure as hell didn't touch the thing). H said it was funny that it was his necklace and I was more concerned that it was gone after saying that I wanted it gone than he was. He said, "Do I look upset or worried about it? No, and you shouldn't be either since you wanted rid of it." Part of me said good he doesn't care that it's gone, that's a good sign. Other part of me said he's not worried because he knows exactly where it is. I just let it drop since I had no proof either way; did check Drupy's room since he has had a problem with taking things that weren't his and hiding them in his room. It wasn't in there and believe me I tore that room apart looking for it.

Today (of all days) - H is getting ready to leave to go to show that is in OW's state and I was handling it pretty well--no LB's and acting "as if" with H. H asked me if I would do him a favor and wash some of his clothes (undies, lol) for him. I told him, "Yeah" with a question in my voice. H said that I had told him that I wanted him to start washing his own clothes. "Well the way I look at it is if it's in the dirty clothes it's fair game. If your clothes are in the dirty clothes, then they'll get washed with everything else. I will not go around picking up after you; I am not a maid. I have no problem washing them if they're in the basket though." H said, "Oh okay, thanks."

Fast forward about five minutes - H starts saying that someone had been in his band room/bedroom because a set list (list of songs the band plays for those non-musician peoples out there) that he had in a binder was missing (Why in the hell would someone want to steal a set list anyway?) I told him that I hadn't been in there and the kids hadn't been in there that I knew of - H is constantly "misplacing" things and then saying someone took it. I told him that I even shut the door if it's open and he's gone so I don't have the temptation of going in there and don't have to walk by the door and see the other phone line cause I'm trying to give him his space. I left the room to get kids ready to go to MIL's for a little while--Goose wanted to go see his Nana, lol. About ten minutes later, H yells out to me and I go back to the "forbidden" room (lol, b*tchy ain't I?). Now he can't find one of his books (one's a address book and the other is a dateminder--both I provided to him, if I may go that far). "I'm about to get hostile; I guess I'm going to have to put a padlock on the door so no one can get into my [censored] while I'm not here," was his comment. I told him that I had no idea where that book was--I haven't seen either of them. Well, he started looking and I started to help him. I saw him pull one of the books out of the pocket on his suitcase and thought well maybe the other book is under the clothes instead of in that pocket like he thought. I pulled back the clothes and what do I see----THAT DAMN ZIPPO----is laying in the bottom of his suitcase. I could honestly feel my heart turn into a rock. I stood up and turned to leave the room. H said he still couldn't find his book. I looked at him from the doorway and said, "Well I don't know where you book is and I just saw something that really irritated me so I'm going in here. H said, "You want to know why that's in there?" I just looked at him. H went on to say he put it in there so it didn't get thrown away (?) like his necklace did. I told him that I didn't throw his necklace away; I have no idea what happened to his necklace. During this time, he found his damn book under the suitcase where he had evidently put it. I turned and walked out of the room. H said as I was walking down the hall, "It's not going with me, is it?" I just said no I guess not and kept walking. Was at the point where I didn't trust myself to speak. I came in and told Drupy to hurry up and get dressed so I could take Goose to Nana's and H came through and said, "You don't have to be so mad all the time." I informed him that it was the third time I had told Drupy to get dressed and he was still sitting there in his underwear watching cartoons. Told H to be careful and then shut the door.

I'm so damn mad!!!! I think I need to sit down a write another letter to H explaining all of this today and the post from yesterday (telling him that A is second only to losing a child). For one thing, if I don't get this out before he gets home I may explode when he walks in the door. For another, I don't trust myself to talk about this. I went and looked back in the tool box and everything that was in there is gone. I guess he cares more about it than he was letting on---still don't know for sure what happened to the necklace. Could someone give me some input on what to put in the letter? I'm going to try to write one, but I'm still so mad that I don't know how it will turn out. I have to let him know how this is all affecting me---I will Plan A, but only for so long and will only put up with so much crap. Also on the clothes washing, I don't want anything to do with his stuff right now so should I wash them (because of what I said earlier) or should I just set them in a separate pile and let him wash them himself? Of course, now I'm mad, he's headed down there and this is not good in any way......if she shows up (H says she won't, I say she will) I don't know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />