may have posted this in wrong forum earlier. last year before taking a vacation to visit my husbands family, i told him that i had had an affair a year ago. we agreed to forgive each others mistakes. we decided to move here to start over. it is 3000 miles away from my family which includes my daughter and 3 year old grandchild. i know i agreed to the move but i did not know how bad it would hurt me to be away from my family. he has told me that we wouldnt be here if it wasnt for my affair. i feel like being here is punishment for what i have done. i dont want to leave him but i dont want to live so far from my family. what should i do.

(((((law)))))

Separation from family can be difficult, so please accept a small hug.

Moving I undestand. But why 3000 miles away? Is there some reason you couldn't move, if necessary, somewhat closer but still have the distance that your husband seems to need?

Also, while I understand your desire to be closer to your daughter and granddaughter, you have "done your job" in raising your daughter and perhaps your husband is feeling that the two of you need to focus on each other. We have our children for a time, but God designed it that they would someday leave the home and start their own "separate" lives. Marriage is forever. Perhaps the affair was part of the "empty nest syndrome". I may be wrong, since I don't know the details of your circumstance, but regardless, you need to focus on rebuilding a relationship with your husband. The two of you need to keep each other "first" in all that you do. Visit the family as time and resources permit, but where do you want your marriage to be in 10 years?