Orchid,
Ty for your reply. Yes i have mastered my hurt some. I did get a job at the high school here,Its only subbing for now, but hopefully soon i will get in there full ime. I decided and thought long and hard on alot of things that has been happening to me. 1 is i can't change him.2 i have to make myself well as if i don't i will be in the hospital. 3 I have stoped alot of the snooping as when i do find things out it only hurts me more and more. So now i just a'm trying to put me first and think about what is going to make me happy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Inthedark_45....feel the same here. I am in Plan A and feel that it is not getting me anywhere. About being too good a wife, dont i know it. I feel like a doormat. I am doing his laundry, he is getting a hot meal every nite, for what , for him to tell me , I hate it when you touch me. I feel like he is using me. He on the computer with the OW every chance he gets, and that hurts like crazy. He is doing this right under my nose, in our home, when i am upstairs (computer in the basement). He says he is here just for the children. Doesnt want to mess them up. I dont know how much longer i can hang on, it hurts so badly. Some days he speaks to me, others he doesnt even speak unless i speak to him. He comes and goes how he pleases. Doesnt say hello or goodbye, i say it first. Some days i feel this is just a bunch of bull, and i need to ask him to leave, but i am scared to death to be alone without him here. The OW is coming for a visit to our town, in December, and i know he is just holding out to see her. I dont want him to leave, but somedays i think i have no choice, this is just too unfair to me to have to endure his chatting with OW (and sex on the computer with her, i have found evidence). I am being so nice to him, as you say too nice and he is cruel to me. Our kids dont know anything about any of this, and it is so hard to keep up good front in front of them, i am so, so, tired. It seems like he doesnt want to be even around me, so why is he here, he is out more than he is here. Sometimes i think he is doing all this so i will start to hate him or should i say fall out of love with him, like he is out of love with me. I really feel maybee he is doing that, he wants me to fall out of love with him, so we can both move on. I am sorry, i am not much help, as you can see , i am having a real hard time with all this myself. I hope someone here will able to help you more than me, there are alot of knowledgable people here. A/C0810

Hi Inthedark_45....feel the same here. I am in Plan A and feel that it is not getting me anywhere. About being too good a wife, dont i know it. I feel like a doormat. I am doing his laundry, he is getting a hot meal every nite, for what , for him to tell me , I hate it when you touch me. I feel like he is using me. He on the computer with the OW every chance he gets, and that hurts like crazy. He is doing this right under my nose, in our home, when i am upstairs (computer in the basement). He says he is here just for the children. Doesnt want to mess them up. I dont know how much longer i can hang on, it hurts so badly. Some days he speaks to me, others he doesnt even speak unless i speak to him. He comes and goes how he pleases. Doesnt say hello or goodbye, i say it first. Some days i feel this is just a bunch of bull, and i need to ask him to leave, but i am scared to death to be alone without him here. The OW is coming for a visit to our town, in December, and i know he is just holding out to see her. I dont want him to leave, but somedays i think i have no choice, this is just too unfair to me to have to endure his chatting with OW (and sex on the computer with her, i have found evidence). I am being so nice to him, as you say too nice and he is cruel to me. Our kids dont know anything about any of this, and it is so hard to keep up good front in front of them, i am so, so, tired. It seems like he doesnt want to be even around me, so why is he here, he is out more than he is here. Sometimes i think he is doing all this so i will start to hate him or should i say fall out of love with him, like he is out of love with me. I really feel maybee he is doing that, he wants me to fall out of love with him, so we can both move on. I am sorry, i am not much help, as you can see , i am having a real hard time with all this myself. I hope someone here will able to help you more than me, there are alot of knowledgable people here. A/C0810

Cathy,

You sound like you are coming to terms with your situation. It may not be what you want right now but the coming to terms will make handling it much easier. So much so that when he does the stupid A thing you might even be able to laugh at it. What a goal!!!

I did. When the WS and OW were trying desparately to make me angry, I learned to just laugh. I told him their antics were so stupid it didn't even deserve my anger. What what a relief that was!! Pssed off the OW but who cares!??!?! The WS eventually apologized and eventually relinquished his WS title. Now he is more of a sane man!! I can be married to a sane man but not a A nut!! I set my boundaries on that point 2!

Keep plugging along there Cathy, you are doing ok. I saw your other thread so I will go and take a peak.

L.