8 weeks ago my husband suddenly left me for another woman, after 9 years of marriage and two children. I didn't even see it coming, he said he needed to leave because he met someone else and had doubts about our marriage. He is 37 and the girl he is now living with is 21. My husband is a musician and he met her at a show, then left me two weeks later. It was love at first sight so he say's. He now tells me that he has fallen in love with her. The reason he left was I did not met his emotional needs, I was so devestated. I still love him and would take him back, am I crazy for thinking this way. What could he have in common with this person, besides music. They had only know eachother by phone and email for two weeks before he left. Hurt and confused by all of this.

hello usavings -- Welcome to MB. I don't know the links, but if you go the JustFoundOut portion of this forum and scroll through some of the other posts, you will find something labelled "WAT's quick start guide" and some other notable posts that should give you some of what you need to read when you are first hit with this.

The best advice I received here when I first came here about eight months ago was to read. Read this forum and site. Read whatever books you can -- the three I especially found helpful in helping me sort through my emotions, reactions, etc were Surviving an Affair by Harley, After the Affair by Jennifer Abrahm-Spring, and Private Lies by Pittman.

I know it all seems so surreal to you now. It helps to connect with those that are in similar situations. It helps to read.

To answer some of your questions. The A is a fantasy world. Do not try and make sense of it. Of course your WH does not have much in common with this woman. It is not reality.

Second, there is nothing you can do to end the affair. You can only concentrate on yourself and your children. Hopefully your WH will get a big dose of reality, but in the meantime you need to focus on yourself. It's very difficult to take a hard look at yourself during this time, but absolutely essential.

We'll all be here for you.

Usavings, My H "fell" in love with a 26 yr old girl and he was 55 at the time. Talk about having nothing in common. OW is our sons age. WS is now convinced that they have very little in common but he can't overcome the "feelings" he has for her so he continues to have an EA. I am convinced he just wants a toy to play with to make him feel good.

What makes a person throw everything away for a thrill is beyond me. I have never done that so I do not undertand it. BUT there are tons of WS talked about on this board that go for the gusto and leave a trail of devastation, lies and heartbreak.

You need to grow and learn about yourself and how to live your life with or without your
WS. I can't agree more about how much wisdom is in the books mentioned and how they will help you sort out reality from lies......

All of us felt the same way you did that we love our WS and would do anything to win them back. That is normal but it can be dangerous if we don't accept the facts. Someone once said the best revenge is being happy. So grow, be respectful to WS and learn what is best for you to survive what lies ahead.

TW