Not sure what to do now. Sorry if this rambles.

WW's A that started in late January is over, as far as I can tell. She had a full-blown withdrawal back in late June to late July, until she resumed "low-grade" contact (her own fog words) in early August via e-mail plus at least one visit. When I found out about that 3 weeks ago and threatened to leave her if she made contact again, she has apparently been consciously willing to comply with N/C because, in her words, "she values me and values her family".

At this point I'm basically in Plan A, with some improvements (better feeling validation, no LB on my part, even when baited) because I feel she's still in a kind of withdrawal, but without the prior obvious signs of depression.

But her attitude now is troubling. Last night she gave me the line: "I have no loving feelings toward you; I'm not physically attracted to you; you're very nice but... ; I want to feel crazy about a man; let's just be co-parents, because that's all we can be...it's good for us (!!!) and the kids, etc." So, I bit my lip and replied, "well, I appreciate your honesty and acknowledge that. Earlier today, I felt loving feelings toward you (despite the recent turmoil). I would love to be married to a woman who is honest with me, thoughtful and protective of my feelings, etc. I hope you can be that woman." Her response was more of the same line as before. I know some of you might think that implies I judged her, but really, that's how I feel right now.

It just seems hopeless. I feel like she just wants me in the marriage for her convenience, has no real interest in improving the marriage, thinks MB is a "cult", etc. As for her comments about what she wants in a relationship (wants to be crazy about a man), well that's pretty laughable (if she believes that could last), yet understandable on some human level.

I told her I don't believe that her "plan" for our marriage would work in the long run (without going into anymore detail), in my opinion.

She did counsel with Jenn a few months ago, but that was only enough to convince her that the A was no good for her and that breaking it off was a first step. She has refused since then to continue counseling (for reasons suggested already). Her exposure to MB principles was limited to EN's which turned out to be little more than an excuse for her to say how "attractive" OM was (and I'm not). In my opinion, she is just as responsible for the problems in our marriage, especially including her habit of LB'ing me through disrespectful judgements and angry outbursts, etc.

So what the hell do I do now? Give in and just be a convenience to her? I don't think so. She seems downright stubborn in her thinking and I'm feeling increasingly hopeless. I'm definitely decided to go to Plan B for sure if contact resumes (not sure how likely...I have a snoop plan), coupled with ending enabling the A by bringing it to the light of day. Hopefully, that will not occur and I guess it won't. What would happen to her attitude then, I don't know. She is pretty self-centered so I assume she would break it off (again) to try to keep me around.