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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 252
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 252 |
Like most of you out there, I am trying very hard to be patient and considerate so my spouse might wake up and come home. But I can't help but wonder if we are all nuts???!!! Why are we all trying to make a marriage work when our spouse no longer wants us?? Are we a certain type of personality that continues to want someone who plainly doesn't want us and has hurt us so badly? Does anyone else out there feel like this sometimes? I want my H to come home more than anything, but I keep wondering why? Why am I determine to be with someone who doesn't want me?
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 966
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 966 |
The ironic thing is that once we as BS start to realize - fully realize - and accept - what you've described, and we're moving on... that's when they often start to wake up. Go figure.
If it wasn't for what I know about affairs - learned here - I'd have never made it as long as I have / did.
I remember talking to SH once, and as he put it, love is about past, present and future. It's about all those good memories of the past that give us some push. The present is crappy, no doubt. There's no love generated from the present. But it's also about the future - or at least a hope that the future will be better - that recovery will happen. That's what keeps many going... It's when our Takers finally convince us that our future happiness lies elsewhere - that we're officially "done"!
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 104
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 104 |
Whether we are waiting for them to come back or are under the same roof waiting for their head to come back into gear, or simply on the road to recovery. There will be days when you wonder if you are nuts or not. Even though I am in recovery ( what seems to be ), I still wonder if I am nuts some times. So don't worry you are not the only one.
Being patient and considerate is a good thing and it can't hurt. I don't know how long it has been for you but patience is definately an asset.
All the best.
Daisy.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 24
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 24 |
I can certainly relate to feeling like I am nuts. My WH has an apartment, confessed to an EA?(PA) and lied to me for an entire year. Now he says that he wants to have his family back. However, he works VERY long hours on the weekend, so he sleeps at his apartment Fri & Sat. OK, if I accept that then I AM NUTS.
What I would like to know is when do they finally get out of the FOG for ever?!? He acts normal then BAM, he does some other weird thing.
I just keep reading SAA, this website (to a point of addiction!) and praying to let God handle this. Sometime I think getting a D would be so much easier. Also, I am starting to like being alone. I have the house and kids to myself and things seem to be so much more organized and calm.
Go figure - He does not know what he wants and now I do not know what I want!!
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