My daughter just called me to let me know that Julie's H called this afternoon and told her that he was going to come over and kill Ralph and if she got in his way, he would kill her too! They called the police and while they were there, he called again and this time the police talked to him and tried to talk some sense into him. I don't know why they don't just arrest him! I AM SO NERVOUS THAT MY DAUGHTER AND JULIES KIDS WILL GET CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE! I keep hoping that he was just drunk and didn't mean what he was saying, but you hear so many horror stories. He is a volatile man when he is drunk. I don't know what to do at this point. I guess there is nothign I can do. I tried to get my daughter to come up here so she could be safe, but she won't come. She doesn't want to leave her dad. I would think he would make her come up here! Even if it is just for a few days until he cools off! Don't know what set him off to make threats like that! What a mess this whole thing has turned into. Please pray that everyone will be safe and he will come to his senses. I just can't stop thinking about it and crying!
BH

Wow, not much you can do. You've offered safety to your daughter. The rest is up to your H.

The man was probably hurting and blowing steam. But you never know.

Sorry this happened.

Dear BH,

I am sorry for those threats. Really really? Julie needs to move herself away from the Ws and your children. She needs to not put anyone between her and her XH. Something sounds like it is triggering him. Maybe her sudden move and no closure?!?!? Maybe her exit playing in his mind over and over like a broken record??!?! You never know. The sad piece is that both your XH and Julie have put all the children in jeporady.

They are now obligated to get the children to safety. What are the police saying?

Will keep you and your family in our prayers.

Hugz,
L.

Thanks Z and Orchid,
I hope you are both right that he is just hurting and blowing steam. I don't know what set him off, but Julie and my husband have to get the kids out of danger. They have to stop being selfish and think about others for a change. I just can't believe this is happening!
It is something I was afraid of in the beginning,
but didn't know for so long and then he seemed to be handling the situation OK. He only found out about the "living arrangements" recently, so when he didn't snap right away, I thought he would be OK. Well, thanks for your prayers guys. I do appreciate your responses!
Hugs to you both.
BH

Is this Julie's H or XH? Those poor messed up kids. This Julie, has she become a totally different person since the years in which she was your friend? Was she always so self-absorbed that she would ignore the physical and psychological danger to your and her children? Were she and her H unbalanced from the start? At her age, your OD is responsible for her choice to stay, I guess, but any thinking dad would RUSH his child out of a situation like this.

Estes

Can't blame the guy really - told WW's OM a similar thing. We might meet tomorrow, we might meet in 10 years time - but eventually I'll catch him and will beat him up.

Silly, I know, but it would feel just sooo good.

I just see that my above post doesnt help you really. I'd get OW'H a clear message that: whatever he decides to do with your WH is his business and that wasting him is probably not a good idea in the long run, but that he has *absoutely* no right to do anything with the kids, and that includes threats. I'd let the police know of it.

Wow this is deep.

Something pushed this man's button.
I had no idea that OW was Married.

Are they still married? How old is your daughter?
I pray that everyone will be ok.

Have you ever communicate with OW H?
if you all were friends, do you think t's
possible you could talk to him in a public place?

Dear BH

I am sorry you are going through this trauma - especially with your D being involved.

A short time back I posted about how the Police had telephoned me to tell me that OM had called them to say that my H had been telephoning him constantly threatening to kill him and had sent a threatening tape. I was absolutely devastated that I could have caused H so much misery and pain that he had done this.

However, in my case, OM had over-exagerated somewhat - H had never spoken to him, (had only left 4 messages in 2 months), and sent him a tape with an Oasis song and short message. That OM could be such a, well, coward is a nice way of putting it, is beyond me.

Anyway, I'm not saying that the BS in this case did or didn't say it, but the point being emotions run high for whatever reason. H sent the tape to OM a full 3 weeks after the last telephone message - I still don't know what it was that had upset him particularly if anything!

Do people really carry out these threats? Probably not, although I understand your fear that he is volatile particularly when he drinks. Does he have children too? If he was a friend of yours too, perhaps you could speak to him, point out that he has children who need him etc. and where would it actually get him if he carried his threats through.

I know how awful this is and how frightened you must feel, especially for your daughter, but it is more than likely that he is just still incredibly hurt and angry.

Stay strong.

Lisa

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and support. Julie and Rich's relationship was always troubled. Right after we first met, Julie showed up at my door claiming that he was abusing her and needed to hide from him. I don't know if he ever actually hit her, but she was very upset. They are still married but their divorce is in the works. We have all been friends through the years, but with Rich it was a guarded friendship. He could be loving and kind one minute and then something would set him off and he would start yelling and screaming. Most of the time Julie would aggravate him by doing or saying something. When her two oldest kids were little her whole life revolved around them and she actually was a good mother. Then when she found out she was pregnant with her third, she freaked out. Since then, her drinking has become so much worse and her personality has slowly changed. In talking to her sister recently, however, she mentioned to me that ever since she can remember, Julie has been self abosorbed. I guess I just never saw her that way until now. I have thought about meeting or talking to Rich, but to tell you the truth, I am afraid of him! I have never felt comfortable being alone with him. Maybe if we talked in a public place, but I don't know. I will think about that though. I just pray that he was just blowing off steam. The kids don't deserve this kind of stress in their lives. Julie's kids are 18, 16, and 10. My daughter is 21. Well, thanks again everyone for the support and for the prayers. Just one more thing to deal with! Thank God my friend told me about MB!!
BH