Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1030172 09/25/02 09:34 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4
T
Junior Member
Junior Member
T Offline
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4
I have no idea why I am here, I have posted before and am grateful for the responses I got.I just feel lost, we are trying and I think that homelife is easier, but I just still feel like it is a bad dream. I want to wake up and move on. I still feel like we are together because I want my kids to grow up with both parents. At night I hug my eldest son and tell him I love him, before I put him to bed and each night I feel like crying as I fell responsible for what has happened. He puts his little arms around me and says he will never let go. What is happening to my life, my pain turns to anger and I just want to lash out at everyone in order to protect the kids.

Sorry.

#1030173 09/25/02 09:49 AM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 90
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 90
Dear TS1
Reading your post brings back memories of some very hard times that I had, just a few months ago. Right after I found out about my H's A, I used to say goodnight to my eldest son (who's 3 and 1/2) and I would have to be really strict with myself. I just wanted to weep whenever I looked at him. I couldn't bear the thought of him growing up without both of us. He loves his Dad completely and I would feel such rage that my H had betrayed not just me, but both my little boys as well. I was very undecided about whether I was doing the right thing by staying. As time began to move on and we talked, talked, talked, I realised that, more than anything, my H betrayed himself. He is trying so hard to make up for what happened - both to me and to the boys. He loves them - purely and simply - and they think that he is all-powerful. We both know that he isn't, but there is no reason for them to know that - ever!

I am sorry that you are feeling so low. I don't know your story, but it has been almost 5 months since D-Day for me, and things are so much better. We do still have some terrible days (and the odd week!), but my H and I are working so hard at making a true, loving home for our boys. I know that it is working for me - I do feel differently about him - I can never just blindly trust him again (trust is still a hurdle that we are climbing), but I am really learning to know the person I married, all over again. And I like him. I will always love him, and soon I hope that we will recapture that bond, that passion, that "love" that we neglected and allowed to change. I can't speak for him, but I know that he does have times when he questions his decision to stay. But we are still here. Our boys are settled, happy and confident - we did that!

Be proud of yourself for trying. Take small steps and go and let your child wrap his arms around your neck! Sorry for rambling, but I wanted you to know that there is so much worth staying for.

Good luck.
Fishwife


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 649 guests, and 84 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
litchming, scrushe, Carolina Wilson, Lokire, vivian alva
72,031 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,031
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0