Hi Everyone,
I a'm so confused about some things, not sure how to take it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> U see my H and i have been together now 11 yrs and through out the 11 yrs he has done nothing but lie to me. I can't talk to him as when i do all he says is that is not so or gets angry with me. H e has even lied right to my face when i even showed proof that he lied and said i don't know what u are talking about. I have a very strong gut feeling he has had a A on me but can't actually prove it. I have reason to belive he has outher than a gut feeling. This is bugging the he** out of me, all i want is the simple truth. U see about 6 months ago when i said to him that i thought he was having a A on me he got really mad and when my g/f came over he no sooner let her get through the door and said to her Cathy thinks i a'm having a A on her and then laughed. Now just recentey we were out to dinner and i thought to myself ok i a'm going to talk to him about some things that have botherd me. I said to him in hopes to get him to confess that i knew he was having a a on me. This is what i got told. I have no desire to cheat on u, but then when i started to cry he got SUPER quiet and did not talk to me through the rest of dinner or the rest of the night, came home went strait to bed. But what is funny is the very next day he came home from work and kissed me and acted like nothing happened. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> That really has me confused. Now the reason i belive he is cheating on me is awhile back oh about 3 months ago he wanted to go to a gocart race i said to him i would like to go and he stated to me NO!!! i would like to just get away by myself, and even a male friend wanted to go but he told him no to. Said he was going down the night before of the race so he could go to his mom and dads house to help them on there farm bale hay. Ok now from where we are now it is only a 2 hour drive to his moms then he said the place where the race was was not that far from them. So he left early that morning diden't come back home till 9pm the next night, when he walked through the door the first thing he said to me was telling me all about the race like i could give a da** kissed me then took a shower and went to bed, claiming he was tried. Now about 2 weeks later i was in my snoop software looking at it and i saw this. It said did u have a wonderfull weekend! That was all it said. now u don't say that to a nother man if u was talking to them. Then 1 outher thing and that is awhile back he was laid off of work and he was supposed to call in to the uninployment office once a week. Well 1 day i walked in the back bedroom and he was on the phone i heard him say HEY GOTTA GO BYE!!!!! and hung the phone up very quickly. I then ask him who was u talking to and he said the unployment office i said oh ok playing stupid. but that day the unployment office was closed it was on Washington birthday. Not to mention things i have found in files and folders. Then i seen that he had his own e-mail account that he said he did not have. i have even showed him some things in the documents like mylov hi there not to mention there were 6 webcam pictures of the same girl. a'm i crazy or does this sound like my H is having a A on me? please can someone help?

Cathy - I don't know what to say. Obviously, you don't trust your H...maybe for good reason, I can't say. But that's a HUGE issue that the two of you need to work on in MC.

Whether or not there's an A, you two have some work to do on your relationship.

Hi Cathy,
I'm glad you started this thread and put all the info in one place. I agree with Rif, you should try to get him to go to MC. If you can't trust him, there is always going to be that doubt. Has the possibility of counseling ever been discussed? If not, maybe it's time. Hope you get some good advice from some of the others who are soooo good at it! Take care of YOU Cathy!
BH

Brokenhearted and Riff,
Yes awhile back we were in councleing but all he did while we were in there was turn everything around on me that i said and made me look like a fool. Then he got me so confused when i was trying to tell my side of the story i got so upset and started to cry. So since then we have not been back. He did nothing but make himseft look good in there. Now He did say he would start back up but... he has not mention it now for sometime even when i keep bringing it up he gives me some sort of excuess why he can't. I a'm sick and tried of all the excuess, if he really wanted to go then he just would. Oh and by the way thanks Riff and Brokenhearted for replying back.

Cathy - I don't really know what to say - but maybe you should hire a private investigator or something to prove to yourself once and for all if something is going on... I mean is he working late, out alot, ??? Does he have a cell phone that you know the code to or that you can check incoming and outgoing calls??? I mean in my experience every time I snooped I found something - prepare yourself because you might find something you really were not prepared to deal with .. But you canot keep wondering you must find out some facts - If he is doing something you will probably find out sooner or later... But you two sound like you need counseling - Tell him you want to make an appointment right away and see what he says...I mean when I was trying to find out what was going on I turned into a major sleuth - I didn't like the results - but I used to hear *69 to see what the last incoming calls where, I would hit redial everytime he was home alone, I mean that is just the tip of the iceberg... If you want to know you can find out - Good Luck