to let you know where i am coming from for the past read
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiubb=get_topic;f=37;t=013199#000009http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiubb=get_topic;f=37;t=013199#000009 but as of 9-22-02 <d_day> i found out from WW that she was in love with another and then discovered EA was also a PA in my own bed....she says it just felt right and it just happened, but repeated?
I am going head long into plan A know not what else to do. she has given up all hope on us to put forth efforts in OP. She says she loves him and loves being with him.
I knew it was coming because i told both of them, yes i know him <family,not blood related to either side> and have known him for approx 8 to 10 yrs. i have been reading and learning from this site for about 5 moths now and still learning but haven't had much guts to post but i need some feed back,please? blows me off to be around him eeven though i am trying to build and put back + in the LB but it is rejected,she says she knows what she wants and it is not me. Granted i have had my share of faults and so has she, and i am strong willed as to not to give up on her/us. she faught so hard to keep me that she had to have seen something there now she don't but i do.tonight she wanted to know if i would pitch a fit if her and her sister went to his house. well she has gone b4 and not come home till 2 or 3 in the am. i lost sleep and alot of respect, but still willing to let the past stay in the past and build for today and the future.It took a few shots of hose' to get me mind free enough to post now and still under influince and still hurting she has gone to his house and i am here with the kids,not that i mind the kids i mind that i feel like a babysitter and a financial payoff. I still love her dearly and have no intention of letting go but i did tell her that if he could tell me and her face to face that he felt the same for her as she did him then i would back off and keep to myself, and i will, my love will burried in my heart so deep that no-one can take it from me or destroy it even her.
i know alot of rambling but i am dazed/buzzing/confused....just wanting to let things out i guess......more in a bit trying to compose myself to go on since she still hasn't come home , been 2 hrs...maybe another 2 ?
any thoughts or comments are welcome, and yes i do feel anger but trying to make it love. [LIST]
