Thank you for sharing your story and the article kings kid. This only enforces my feelings that I really doubt I want to ever remarry. It also verifys what has been said on here, that marriages that result from affairs rarely survive because they are based on lies. My heart goes out to you for what you had to endure. This is the modern-day delimma with men and women working together, people are bound to develop feeling/friendships, which is what cautious is asking. Everyone has been telling him that he has to put up boundaries, especially if this woman is sending signals like she is. He is not listening though. I hope your marriage is recovering now and your husband can forgive himself and move on someday. Will you ever be able to trust again?

In my case, as I said, I should have never, ever, EVER told this man how I felt about him. I have never felt that way about anyone in my life, but, it doesn't matter, he belongs to someone else, so do I, end of story. Lessons have been learned, at least I can say that. I almost feel as if he is punishing me for something someone else did to him in the past.

And I do know how it feels to be tormented and stalked by someone...this is my second time around unfortunately.

Romance novel addicts are rarely stable. And this woman that "cautious" is involved with is definitely an addict - I mean, check out her vocabulary. Who uses the word "furtive" in every day conversation???

Unless you enjoy being someone's Fabio, until the next exciting leading man comes along, make some distance, pronto. Otherwise, you will need to find out where the plot is going so that you know which script you're going to have to use next.

And since you enjoy being in a soap opera, kiss your marriage goodbye - soap opera characters are not allowed to have an enduring relationship until they are 60 - and by then, you've usually been written out of the script. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

an afterthought...

who knows, maybe she's a romance novelist wannabe, and she's practicing her material on you. One way or another, this is going to come back to bite you. Don't blame us if you end up feeling "used".

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cautious:
<strong>I will let you all know what happens on Monday. In the past she said we are doing nothing wrong, no sex is desired. I like the lunches, being honest. We shall see what happens when she returns to work on Monday. I know she will send me an email.

Part of me things huge red flag. Other says I am overreacting.
Part of me listens to all you. Other says she is good and mature and ntohgin will happen

Two days to go. I will keep in touch</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, I was going to turn in for the night until I saw your Post.
WAKE UP!!! You are walking the razor-thin line that separates simple accidental 'how are you doing' thing to the beginning of an AFFAIR. Dude, you better run, run fast and run NOW! This lady is using you to meet Emotional Needs that her Husband is not meeting. She has already had an Affair of the heart on him (with you). She's playing you and her hubby. Don't let her. The advice on the posts to this thread are right-on it. I too, had an Affair when I was stationed in Germany and waiting for my wife and kids to come over. Sure, just a few simple words spoken. Then more friendly words. Then, things you happen to have in common - hey, I am enjoying their 'friendship' and company. Then, it starts getting like an addiction - you begin wanting more of these pleasurable feelings so you rationalize, 'hey, it's just a friendship' so you haven't actually done anything physical, so it's OK. WRONG WRONG WRONG! Don't get caught in the trap I did. RUN! I can't emphasize it enough.
Harold

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cautious:
<strong>In the past she said we are doing nothing wrong, no sex is desired.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The very mention of sex is kinda titalating, don't ya think?

I'm glad, cautious, that you finally got a clue. Don't blow it.

Forget about "what she says on Monday." From now on, just be "too busy" to go to lunch. Invite your wife to come to lunch one day this week (w/out the co-worker). Make a big show...introduce your wife around the office...