I'm sorry I didn't see your post until a few minutes ago. I went out with my 3 yr old for his first trip to the library. Our goal; to find a book on going to the dentist, as his first trip there is on Tuesday. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm afraid that I don't know any laws for Alberta. Since I'm in Ontario (London to be exact), anything that I learned during my separation from my H was based on living in Ontario.

However... as far as some of the so-called "legal" separation, that info I received from Revenue Canada. It was them who told me that I had no power to change my H's address from my home to wherever he was. It was all him who had to do it. If I remember correctly, the address change can take place immediately, however, as far as changing the marital status to "separated", that has to wait the minimum 90 days of actually being separated.

IMO, your H isn't aware of this information. If he was, then he'd be a 'good boy' (???), and stay away from other women until that time was up.

Are you still receiving government mailings to him at your house? If not (or if nothing has had any need to be sent to you), have you tried calling Revenue Canada to ask them if he's changed his addy? In general, they aren't supposed to tell you anything.. but if you get the right person on the phone, they would at LEAST tell you if he's changed it (although they can't tell you to where). Just be sure to have his SIN number on hand before you call. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I think that your H is just angry. And the only reason he's considering getting involved with an OW, is b/c he is looking for revenge. It's not the best way, but it can be a naturally instinctive way to deal with your A (eye for an eye theory). And the worst part is, you cannot share this info with him, as it means you will be "educating" him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Heck, even though I was aware of how much more damage it could cause for me to become involved with an OM in a revenge A, it was an EXTREMELY powerful urge (which I did manage to avoid - for the most part <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ).

I'll be on here off and on tonight, but for sure tomorrow afternoon when the twins are down for their naps (between noon and 3 pm EST).

Karen

Karen,
could you please contact me. I need to ask you something about my situation. Check out mey posts.
Thanks Alan
yankeebluebbq@hotmail.com

Topie25,

Sorry, I somehow missed your post, and just noticed it this morning. I guess I was only going back to the threads I'd posted on.

My H won't be changing his address, as he is living in our house, and I'm living in an apt.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> however, as far as changing the marital status to "separated", that has to wait the minimum 90 days of actually being separated.

IMO, your H isn't aware of this information. If he was, then he'd be a 'good boy' (???), and stay away from other women until that time was up. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What does being "separated" mean to revenue Canada?

What difference (legally) would it make if he was a good boy (and stayed away from them), or not?

We are still getting government mailings at our house. He has had to pass my mail on to me. Again, I'm not sure why this is such a good thing (that legally, our address is still the same one)?

I noticed in your sig line that it took 4 months for you guys to go from d-day to recovery. What made the difference at the 4 month mark?

Jen

bump...Topie?

Jen,

I am SO SORRY that I haven't been online to answer to this thread I started. To make a long story short... we haven't had our internet hooked up since Monday night (Sept 30th) b/c of a flood in our basement!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> As I write this, I'm in my living room (next to our mattress), while our basement is off limits as the blowers and dehumidifiers (NOISY industrial strength) do their job to dry everything up. Thank goodness for insurance!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

On with your stuff:

JB: My H won't be changing his address, as he is living in our house, and I'm living in an apt.

I forgot about that until I just read this. Oops! Sorry about that question. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> However, since you don't really want to be separated and want to reconcile, then it's probably in your best interest to consult with a lawyer and ask him/her if you should NOT change your government mailing address. Actually... if I remember correctly... don't most gov't forms have room for an address AS WELL AS a MAILING address??? Hmmm... something to think about.

JB: What does being "separated" mean to revenue Canada?

You get different tax rates and possibly eligibility for programs you wouldn't have been able to get while married. E.g. the GST rebate. With 2 incomes, you may not be eligible, but if it's just you, then you could get it. Besides, if you claim for your housing payments and taxes, you have to be able to explain why there are TWO units being paid for. If you don't claim, and you owe, and you get audited.... well.... I can honestly say that I don't know what the penalties are.

JB: What difference (legally) would it make if he was a good boy (and stayed away from them), or not?

Legally? If you could prove his time with these OW were b/c of A's... then YOU could possibly file for D against HIM based on adultery!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I know that's not what you want. But he can't possibly know the 'rules' of separation according to the govt, otherwise he'd be making himself out to be the perfect hurt H to make you look bad in court, or just in general.

JB: We are still getting government mailings at our house. He has had to pass my mail on to me. Again, I'm not sure why this is such a good thing (that legally, our address is still the same one)?

Again, talk to a lawyer about this issue. You could probably get the info you need in a 30 minute free consultation. I can try and help you with your questions if you want.

JB: I noticed in your sig line that it took 4 months for you guys to go from d-day to recovery. What made the difference at the 4 month mark?

The difference was plan B. But my situation is so different from yours, as I am the BS. I'm not sure if plan B is in the cards for you or not. I've seen it mentioned on MB a few times, that there should be a separate forum and 'rules' of plans A and B for WS's.

Again, I'm sorry for taking so long to get back to you on here... but I have a REALLY GOOD reason. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Karen

Oh my you do have a VERY good reason for the delay! I hope there wasn't too much damage from the flood!

Thanks for your answers to my questions. I'll look into it more if we remain separated beyond the 3 months apart we agreed upon. I intend to keep my official address as the house for the government for the time being, and not apply for the GST credit, or any similar benefits.

I know what you mean about plan A and B being different for BSs vs. WSs. Sometimes I wish there were two versions written on this website and in the book! I feel like I am sort of in plan B at times, and like I am going to have to go into plan A if and when I get to "go home", but how exactly I'm not sure.

Take care and good like with the drying process!!!

Jen