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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17 |
my wife left and moved in with the other man 2 weeks ago, she took my kids and my dogs and the family car, im struggling day by day trying to give her time, she says she wants a divorce because i have hurt her too many times, when i call the house where she is the other guys says not to call. when she talkes to me and he is around she seems so diffrent. i miss my kids my dogs and my wife!!! how do i get started making changes to get her to see me diffrently and interested in working on our marrage again?
how do i cinvince her that he is soo great only because he is new and wants to keep her???
how do i stop thinking about the idea she may have slept with him? even if she has i dont care. i just want to spend every second i have with my family, nothing is as important as they are, and it took this too see it.
how do i prove this if she doesnt want to talk?
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909 |
Sorry Ruak... I'd like to tell you that you could convince her... but I would be lying. I couldn't 'convince' my own H...
What you can do...
1. Focus on YOU. Look deep into Ruak and determine the changes you want to make to make you the best Ruak you can be.
2. Get support. See a dr. if necessary for depression or anxiety... seek out a counselor or therapist to help you through this difficult time.
3. Make your home and your marriage, such that it is, a SAFE place to be. Look at Lovebusters and determine which ones you practice and put into action a plan to stop. BE A FRIEND TO YOUR WIFE.
4. Don't give up. Don't despair. If I have learned anything it is there is NO predicter of whose marriage will be restored and whose will not. The rollercoaster is a long, hard journey.
Cali
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17 |
thanks cali, what i think i need most right now are kind words, it also helps for people to say dont give up hope, i neglected my wife and her needs, and thats why she left, this has been such a painfull leason. i desperatly would do anything to put my family back together, i will read your recomendations, also i have seen refrence to plan A and Plan B, what are those?
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909 |
I know Ruak... just remember that it seems darkest before the dawn... plan A and B Check out Harley's book Surviving an Affair if you can... as well as His Needs/Her Needs and Lovebusters. They are a good start to figuring out what you need to 'change.' There will be other books you find along the way. Cali
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