I've been doing pretty well, new baby, attentive WS. Now he is going away fishing with men only for the weekend. The same group goes every year. He missed last year because it was after d day. I know he is probably going, but a part of me is still insecure. The last time he went away alone was for the weekend with OW over 1 year ago. I told him it was OK (would have been a big LB to say no), but it still worries me. This has triggered those feelings again. My sex drive has been low after the baby and I won't fake it, but I wonder if this isn't part of the whole situation. I feel like we are both tired, the thrill has not been there recently, so I wonder if it is baby or something else. Anyone ever feel like this? Is it in my mind? I can't talk to anyone about this.

Hey NJ. I think I understand how you're feeling.

And as long as you know where he's going (shouldn't be hard to verify)...

Do something for YOU this weekend. I know you have a new baby...have some girl friends over.

Or, if you can, get someone to be w/ baby (grandparents? godparents? close friend?) for a while and go do some girlie stuff. Get your hair & nails done (or whatever!)...DO SOMETHING JUST FOR YOU!

This "solves" nothing, but you deserve to feel good...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Thank you so much for your reply. It makes me feel less alone. I have been feeling a little low <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> . Must be that post partum stuff. This weekender is a really big trigger, esp. since we have not been on vacation in over a year. I plan on shopping, heavy shopping. I can't overeat because that would blow the physical EN, but I sure can shop. Hope the baby doesn't mind. Sorry it took so long for me to get back here, but with the new baby I can't post too often. I can't complain. I have it better than some others here. Love to all-NJ

Hello NJ

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your baby.

I agree with Riff - do whatever you need to do to keep busy and make yourself happy. I'm sure that's hard with a new baby, but mega shopping sounds like a good idea!

One thing I would say is that when I went away for a weekend recently, although my BS said he was OK about it, he wasn't really, and when I came back we got into a big fight and it was not nice. He thought I should have known that he didn't really want me to go - I thought he'd said it was OK, so he meant it!!!

I'm not suggesting now that you change your mind and tell him you don't want to go, but tell him you feel a little vulnerable about it - explain how you feel. If you have any anxiety, just let him know. I think my H isn't always as honest with me as he can be - not deliberately or because he's hiding anything, but of course that means we're coming at things from different angles, and problems can happen.

Have a great weekend whatever you decide to do.

Lisa

I told him it was OK (would have been a big LB to say no), but it still worries me. This has triggered those feelings again.

But it's worse (a LB?) if you don't discuss your feelings about it with him. It'll just make you a nervous wreck and help to push you backwards in everything.