Has anyone heard of or has anyone recieved help from the maritalemergency.com site? They have an online counselor (EMT) to talk to. He is from the National Assoc. of Marriage Enhancement (NAME.
For a fee they will come to your location and assist in bringing your spouse to the decision of going to a marriage retreat. They also develop a reconsiliation plan and take over for you, because you are not thinking logically. I have been talking to him (Paul) for weeks now and they ARE legit. He has already helped me focus and made me feel positive. But, do I pay $2000 for a last ditch effort to save my marriage? Less than alot of frivilous things. No guarantee though. He is impressive and I have been paying my therapist $100 hr to tell me things I've already read. They try to build christian support around your spouse to convince them to give the other spouse a last chance. We have a 2 1/2 year old. We have been married 3 years, together 7 and seperated 3 weeks. She filed a week ago. I have been working on myself and for 2 weeks stayed out of her sight and voice waves. Feel miserable, but day by day. I know she would see a BIG difference in our marriage if given that chance. I would change jobs or move or whatever she wanted right now. I miss her and my daughter. If anyone can offer advise I'd love to hear it.
Alan
yankeebluebbq@hotmail.com

No, Alan, I've never heard of that group before and of course your marriage is worth whatever it takes but $2000? That sounds like an awful lot of money. I wonder if you've looked into counselling with one of the Harleys. Many on here have done so and from what I understand, have been very happy with them. You could get a lot of Harley for that kind of money!!!

Hello AlanArtur -- I am so sorry for your pain. It's clear you miss you wife and daughter.

As to whether $2000 is worth it -- I guess I would ask $2000 for what specifically? Is this a specific number of sessions with your wife? A retreat? Sessions for both of you? It would help if we understood what services they provide for this $$.

I do know that counseling is expensive. The Harleys are not cheap, but worth it from what I can determine from this site and my own three sessions. Has it restored my marriage, not yet but I am keeping the faith.

If your WW isn't "ready" (and believe me I'm not sure I know what that is, but it is well after discovery and probably at the end of the A unfortunately) then all the money or counselors in the world may not make a difference.

Just some things to think about. Tell us more about what they do for that kind of dough.

What they do is counsel you by phone and such. They then help you develop a plan of reconciliation. They take you out as captain and they take over. It is a christian organization. They then "develop a support group" around your wife that is promarriage, friends, clergy, family etc. They then fly from Arizona and attempt to bring it all together so your wife can see that reconciliation is well worth it. They then try to get you into Smalleys Relationship Center. I saw the Harleys will have another seminar in January. Is the seminar good enough for a couple with our problems?? The fee for maritalemergency is $1700 plus expenses. A four day intensive at Smalleys is $2700 and includes accomodations and a counselor for 4 days....not bad price...they have 95% success rate with marriages worse than ours, but I don't think I'm going to convince my stubborn wife into this. She wants OUT!

Alan, you can't force your wife to do anything, especially change if she doesn't want to.

What you can do is change yourself. By changing yourself, you increase the chances that you'll become someone that she would rather stay with.

My husband left me pregnant and with 2 other children for another woman. He wanted OUT no matter what. We were over, done, finished.

It was only after I was able to demonstrate consistently that *I* was changing that my husband changed his mind and decided that I was someone worth trying with.

Forcing, pressuring, pleading, begging, preaching all drove himi away.

Changing myself brought him back.