I have been in plan b now for 2 months & just really getting my feet under me again, although still up & down some.
Son - 16 has his own phone line so, WS can call him any time to set up a visitation. Except only he does this at last minute. In Aug. I asked if he would have his visitation plan to o me about 2-3 weeks before he wanted a visit with S. WS has been over to the neighbor a few times without ever calling Son to visit. He knows that is would upset me about showing up suddenly, but at least WS is seeing S. I had a meeting last week in WS town & asked if he wanted to go visit WS, S said no, he had homework.
My neighbors know that WS doesn't want to make arrangements or communicate to me through them, but they are support of plan b. He told them last week that I was childish with not talking directly to him. Last night WS stopped to visit neighbors & just visited like nothing was going on. I could tell WS's e-mails have been getting a little testy.
Now I get this e-mail WS wrote:
I am sick and tired of these childish games you are playing. I have done all you request by communicating only on things regarding finances and the children and not calling you direct. I have sent you $ or more a month for child support and joint payments. Last week I sent $---. Today I received a bill for $100 from dentist.
(WS changed jobs & we had cobra dental, but WS forgot to make payments. Last month I was short $ so I sent WS bill figuring it was his turn to pay bill. I think they took his address from his check & mailed him the bill, since it was his insurance that was paying previously. I know I didn't call to have anything switched.)
WS wrote:
In the future I will not be responsible for YOUR vehicle payments or the house payment. Any Dr. bills for S will be paid out of the money that I send you, (that's why they call it child support), I will be sending you $---/month (from the State formula for child support for our income) for S child support until I have a court order demanding otherwise. Any expenses for college D-21 I will need a copy of the bill for my review and I will consider paying 1/2, payment will be made directly to D-21 and not to you.
(Just last week I e-mailed saying D need $ & WS sent half of what she needed. Monday I mailed D's college bills of which I only asked for half of that amt. I know I need to communicate her college expenses better. WS has no clue to the cost. The rest of D expenses are from loans, work, & myself.) Her bill was for $1400, I said she needed $600 more & he sent $300, so I sent a copy of the bill.
WS wrote:
I am open to discuss anything regarding S and D as far as expenses or their well-being, only in a mature manner. If you need to do it by e-mail I can except that, however I will not be going thru the neighbors in the future. If it has to be thru attorney's so be it, however I hope for D and S it does not come to that.
(Two weeks ago my neighbor told WS that she didn't think I was being childish & that I would get to the point where I could talk to WS, & until then WS could at least respect that.)
Is this an expected reaction? Presently WS still has a lot of stuff in our garage & he was helping by paying half the insurance premiums & taxes, for all of our property & vehicles. WS was also paying half of our two major debts, vehicle & house loan. I guess not any more.
I kinda figured Ws would get into his spending habits & need extra $ to show off with the OW.
So I knew WS $ support wouldn't last.
My neighbors want me to tell WS where to put his sh--.
Not exploding any more & getting by. Trying to move on.
This is probably just a vent, that way I don't have to unload on neighbor as much.
Galatians 5:22-23
Trying to practice self-control & the 8 other fruits of the spirt; love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, & humility.
