My husband met this woman, and became friends with her. We were having problems and he was unhappy at home. He started hanging around and talking to this woman on the phone on a daily basis. He says he is happy at home now and doesn't have much at all to do with this woman anymore. He swears they were just friends and they never had sex, nor did he ever want to. She still calls him. I am ready to tell her to leave my husband alone. How can I do this without embarassing myself. I asked him if it was ok for me to tell her this, he said it was.

<small>[ October 02, 2002, 08:04 PM: Message edited by: aintworryn ]</small>

Hello aintworryn,

My story is extreme, but the one thing that I can't forgive my partner for is close to what you've described. However, it went physical.

Basically, my partner never had a female friend, ever. Then, he met this wh*re at a work gig. She came on to him there and then. Partner said I've got a GF whom I love very much. She tried the personal approach which was I hear and understand you, this encouraged my partner to open up to her about how it was that he could not get over his parents' problems and commit.

Anyway, I think I may be confusing you, but you've voiced a few things that is exactly the same. That is, just wanted a friend, confused and not happy with self/home, and never ever wanted sex with her.
Let's just say the wh*re found an opportunity and grabbed it. The damsel in distress scheme.

Now, to answer you. If your H doesn't mind then get him to ask her to stop calling.
Otherwise, be as polite as possible and say you and your H would appreciate it if she stopped calling. You both have nothing to talk to her about.

At the end of the day, listen to your gut, don't wait for something to happen so that you'd have a reason, like me.

Thanks for your reply, eli. I am so sorry about your situation. I really don't know if it was physical or not, but it hurt still the same. The way I see it, if he wants to do it, then there's nothing I can do. I mean, I could put up a fight, but why??? I just hope it was nothing more, and hopefully, whatever was is over. He is with me, and I know that if he wanted her and wasn't happy here, he would be gone. I just don't want to be played for a fool, and just let something like this continue to happen. It is hard, because we have always had a trusting relationship, with the opposite sex. Untill this, and it's a long story that leads up to it, I will spare you. It seems the storm has ended, at least for now, and I am just going to enjoy today while things are ok, but it pisses me off that I can't relax if he's gone from home wondering if he is with her. Oh well, we shall see. Best of luck to you!