Ashirley,

I just read your response to Cautious, and something you wrote in there really resonated with my previous situation. To give you a very quick review: my WH left me/our family last year for OW. He had spent the previous 3 years trying to convince me that 'they were just friends'. I really did my best to believe this, but it NEVER felt right. The long and the short is that these two 'friends' each left longstanding marriages to 'support' each other. That's what THEY call it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

My question to you regards your comment that whilst in the thick of the EA you actually felt more loving, responsive, or connected to your husband. (Can't remember exactly how you put it.) I distinctly remember my husband at times acting more loving towards me during those 3 years from hell, and him actually telling me that his friendship with OW made him feel more loving to me. I've never totally understood that, and that is partially why I hung in there for so long trying to believe him. It seemed contradictory in a sense that if he was falling in love with her, that he'd feel that way towards me. But it never felt right - it always in fact felt dirty, or perverted, to me. You are the only person on these boards that's ever mentioned that aspect. Can you explain what that was all about? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Was it REALLY feelings for your husband? My take was that I was receiving the afterglow of his contact with her.

Thanks for reading this, and for any potential light you may be able to shed on this puzzle for me!