Thinking on this fact that my ws makes little money in odd job work, contracting here and there.. a little computer work for which is highly skilled.. or was a yr ago.. to some carpet cleaning which he did in college one week...

Whatever is going on with him I don't know, but I know he wants and needs a stable job.

He says after he has a stable job then we can talk about counesling, etc. Basically I am so sick of his one more issues scenario. At least there is not an ow I know of now.

he has spent some time with me, and he is trying to contrib. finanacilly , although the amounts are very low.. What do you people think?

Is his self esteem shot with a productive wife, that he can't make as much as right now?

Please post opinions.

Sometimes I feel that my earning power is destroying my marriage. But if I didn't take care of things, who would right now, Santa Claus?

thanks, H <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

((((Honey)))) Thanks for the call. Read your post after we spoke. I think you hit the nail on the head when you basically said it's one issue after another. I don't think your WH knows what it is that is making him unhappy and only HE has control over doing anything about it. Remember, you didn't cause it, can't control it, and can't cure it. Let's talk more tonight.

Brit's Brat/BS-41
WH-43
DS-11 months
Status: One Day At A Time

Honey - you said that he is capable of having a good job and that he has had some in the past - I do not think that your earning potential has anything to do with the problems - You are looking for excuses for his behavior and maybe he is looking for one more thing to blame you for. The fact is that if he got his crap together - if he wanted to he would be able to get a job - maybe not a top notch one at first but a job - there is no excuse for not working and not paying for your children... I make more money than my husband and I am sure that well he probably didn't like it - he knew that he was doing the best that he could at the time - so I just think you are trying to find answers to questions.... Have you talked to him ??? I mean do you think maybe he is using the job as an excuse as to not go to counseling??? I mean he did say that he wouldn't go to counseling until he had a stable job... You have to stop worrying about him and thank god you have a job that affords you the ability to be able to maintain a home for you and your children - I thank god everyday that I made more money then him... I mean you read about some people who have been stay at home Mom's and this happens to them and they are really in trouble - Your husband needs to grow up and start acting like a man and not a little boy... That also is one of my husbands problems I believe...

Honey, I think its a "pride" issue with him.

Just like how I found out threw my friend that WH had told them as soon as he got a job "he would come home to work on marriage".

they know they have done wrong, screwed up their lives, feel pressure and depression from that, he doesnt have anything "positive" in his life, doesn't feel he can contribute anyway to recovery (so he puts the blame on you). Providing for a family is a male pride thing, ways they can show love