I know I might be doing or thinking the wrong thing here. But, OM had a threeway call with myself and WW. Well after I listened to them yell at each other and heard they way she was talking. I realized, that the person I am in love with doesn't exist. I love the person she used to be. I will NEVER love the person she has become. If she wants to be with him after the way he treated her on the phone, then I hope the door doesn't hit her on the a$$ on the way out. I could and would never treat her like that. And, I have never heard WW talk like that (like a sailor). I don't miss her. I don't love or like who she has become.
I talked to her sister last night and tonight. Her whole family is behind me. I told her that I don't think i want her back. She said she didn't blame me, but that I need to give this time. i agree. But for right now, I don't care about her. I do care how she is treating my boys. My youngest (5) scored four goals today in soccer. WW didn't see any b/c she was too busy talking to her friends. Pretty sad when he is looking at her for admiration and she doesn't even acknowledge his feats. I ran and hi fived and hugged him and told him how proud I was of him. At my other sons soccer game, she came and brought snacks and 15 minutes later said she had to leave to go buy bunkbeds for them, since I wasn;t gojng to help her. She didn't even say goodbye to my oldest. He wondered where she went. He played his best game today too. It is sad she is missing all of this. She can never get it back. They kids don't even ask to go to her place. They just want to be with me. If my kids had a step-mother right now, I think she would treat them better than their real mom. It breaks my heart to see her do this to them. But, she acts likes it doesn't matter. I know, to her right now they don't. Because she is so rapped up in OM. Well, I know her world will come crashing down sooner or later. But, I think I will have moved on by then. Her sister wants me to be happy and understands that it would be very difficult to be with her again. I mean she is used goods right now. He can have her. I want to someday find someone to really love. ALL of my friends tell me I was too nice to her, that I gave her everything she ever wanted. Well, it wasn't enough. There's someone out there for me, I just know it. I hope he treats her right. And, I hope if he is around my kids he treats them right. I know I will always be their DAD.
I mean, how can I ever trust her again? How could I ever make love to her again? How could I ever hold her again? I don't think I want to anymore. I want the pain to be over. I want to move on. I'm not going to post for a while. Want to see how then next couple weeks go. I'll be lurking though.
I love you guys.
TORO
