Hello, To give you some background on my situation,I have been married 29 years.....since I was 14 years-old.My marriage for the first 14 years or so was very bad.My H would beat me and had affairs...well he tells me now that he really didn't cheat....just i guess you would call it messed around a little.But I thought it was really happening,and I still have trouble believing him.H never let me do anything...not work,learn to drive ect. And I still don't know how.Well this year I started an affair and left H for 2 days,then came back to really try....but it hasn't worked out...went back to seeing the op..I know bad idea.But I keep telling H that I need time to learn how to be somebody besides wife and mother.I don't want to hurt him....but I think it might help..H says if we seperate it's over.Thats just a short version any advise would help. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Nitas,

I am sorry for the situation you are in right now. Please continue reading here on MB. Would your husband agree to counseling? It sounds like you are dealing with so many issues, and I don't feel I can offer too much help except a suggestion to get counseling with your husband. You've been married so long, that would be a lot to give up in your life. Unless he is abusing you now, I wouldn't separate.

There are wonderful people here on MB who can give you lots of support and insight. Many here have been through so much, and their marriages survived. I am sure yours can too, if you both are willing. I wish I could be more helpful, but know that my thoughts are with you.

Hopeful

Nitas, are you still involved/seeing OP? If so, that has to end or your H has no reason to give you another chance. You said, you know it is a bad idea to continue seeing OM. That is right. It will not help you at all.

It does sound like you have been through an ordeal. Marrying at 14 is so young! I'm sure you must have some unique issues. Hopeful_person is right--there are wonderful people here and they will help you as much as they can.

Thanks for posting and being so honest about your struggles. I hope things will move toward the recovery of your marriage and that it can become a much happier one.

Nitas43,
Sorry to hear the pain u are going through! Are u still with the OM now or have u went back to your H?If he is abusing u then u need to leave right away, and seek some counseling for yourself. Belive me i have been in your shoes before, as far as being physical abused. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> No one deserve's that kind of treament, not to mention the A your H had on u. If u do decide to stay with him at least seek counseling for your self. I know from my experence by me going through the beating's i did, i had to seek help, as i had no self esteem left, I learned in counseling that if a person does not like them selves then it's hard for outher people to like them. And if u don't get some sort of help then u will allways seek out outher people that are abusive. Well at least that happened to me. cause i felt like i was a no body and because of that i stayed in those relationships and kept allowing my self to be put down and abusied. I a'm sorry for u as i really feel your pain. Please keep coming here and post, and let us all know how things are going for u. Cathy