I am new to this so please bare with me. My H and I have been married for seven years and been together for nine. We have four boys, 5,4,18mnths,and7mnths. We have always had a good marriage until now. I have always been the one to stay home with the kids and he has been the one working. We have both been really tired the last six months and hardly had time to talk with each other. He told me that there was some one else that they kissed and he did not know how he felt about her. She lost her husband last August and my h worked the accident. They started talking while he was working at night. I told him to leave and figure out what he wanted her or his family. He came back the next morning in tears and said that he did not want to loose me or his family. Everything was fine and back to normal. Wetalked more and made an effort to be with each other more. Then I got sick and he got most of the responsibilties of the kids while I got over being sick. He did not come home from work until late the next morning and said that he thought he was angry with himself about what he did and was afraid of being around me and the boys. His temper was wild. He could not sit still, kept walking around and hitting the walls he wanted sometime to think and wanted to stay with his uncle for a week. Well I had just let him go "find himself" and was upset and refused. We got into a fight. He went to work and came home while his mom watched the kids and we talked or tried to. He kept saying that I did not understand what he was going through that he was so angry with himself, hegot so made that he kicked a trash can and damaged the ligaments in he foot. He took me home and that was it. He did not come back home. I found out that he went to the OW house. He said he could not talk to me because he keeps getting mad and walking out. The boys and were evicted from the house we back 1010 in rent so we moved in with my parents. He is still with the other woman and said that he thinks a divorce would be best for now and that we could always stop it later. I told him that I still love him and can forgive him for the affair and that we can work this out but he still head strong about the divorce. Since then he refuses to talk to me just wants to pick up the kids and go I ask how he feels its" I don't know"or "I don't want to talk about it" I filed for a contested divorce since he won't tlak to me. He has become a man tha tI don't know. He has done a full 180. I still want our marriage. This OW has done this thing in the past with four other couples. She is six years older than him and her family is well known in town What should I do give up and move on Nine years of being together with no problems until this past six months?

helphopeful,

I wanted to welcome you to Marriage Builders and feel so sorry for your pain.

Have you had a chance to view the Basic Concepts of MB? If not, please do.

I have read the basic concepts list. However my husband will not talk to me. He says that there is nothing totalk about. I know what happened to make this marriage go wrong and I want st badly to work things out but what do I do if he doesn't want to communicate? It's always I told you what to do. I had told him this weekend that there has been more good times in our marriage than there have ever been bad times his response nothing but silence. His mother had said that he is afraid that if he talks to me that I will try to talk him out of a divorce. I would because that is what I want. I know now that he must have been going through withdrawls from this other women and when we got into a agurement about him leaving thats when he left for her. I am trying to hold on to some hope but it is slipping away. I have filed for divorce after he did not show up for our sons birthday, he did not even call him. Seeing my son so upset not eating his cake or smiling thats when I decided to do something. Now this other women has called me and threated that now she has my husband my kids are next. He should be served with divorce papers and a restaing order this week. I'm afaid that he will hate me but he haws backed me into a corner and now I'm ready to fight. Will he ever wake up and see this person for what she is and give us another chance?