I have a question about the wedding rings. My wife stopped wearing hers about 2 months before separating. That is how fast I catch on.....one of the signals I was suppose to see.

Anyway, I put our rings together and told her I would not wear mine until she felt I was worthy, but it would be with hers and kept in my heart until that day. We'll she really didn't care, because she was already planning "the escape". Now we are seaprated and she filed. All my stuff is boxed. Haven't picked up yet. She hasn't asked me to. Wedding pics are off the walls. She couldn't wait. I have both rings. I put mine back on to give me hope. I wore it for a couple of weeks but felt "funny". I now keep it in safe. Was going to throw them in the river, or put them on the RR tracks, or sell them. Instead, I still have hope. As little as it is it is some sliver of hope that somehow God will bring her back to me or vice versa. For now I took her ring to be polished and I keep it in my pocket. I have it in my hand when I pray in the chapel and I kiss it before I pray and go to bed at night.

Am I weird? Is this normal? I haven't seen her or spoken to her in 5 weeks. Lawyers are throwing petitions around. Boy, I hate it. I sure wish I had done the things I needed to do before it got to this. My 2 1/2 year old daughter is in the middle. She cries and is always asking when I'm coming home. I have repented and forgiven her for my behavior, but she hasn't forgiven me and has built a fortress around her heart. Her heart is hard and she is harboring such anger. I think she will explode. Of course she blames me for everything and she doesn't need any individual counseling. I have been going for 6 weeks now and am feeling better. If only she'd give it a chance. She's worried people are going to try and get her to change her mind. I wish she would do joint counseling down the road. I pray each and every day.

Sorry to get long winded. Any good ring stories out there?

Aman,
Sorry for your pain. It is good that you are here. You might want to read the book "your love and marriage" by Dr. Harley. There are some letters in there that are very similar to your situation. I found it at the library and read it over and over for weeks, also Surviving the Affair. Everytime I read something new jumped out at me. You will find yourself in a different place day by day so things will strike you one day that didn't seem relevent before. Post here and ask for help. Just know You cannot and should not try to FORCE your wife to see or do or feel anything. It will not work and will be counter-productive. Work on you. You say you are in IC and feeling better. That is good. One step at a time you will get there.

Take care,

Sharon

P.S. No the ring thing is not weird. I kept mine on till H decicded he wanted OW and D. But I keep on the necklace he bought for me 25 yrs. ago. I have never taken it off, never will. I still rub it and wish sometimes. It is my HOPE.

<small>[ October 09, 2002, 12:47 AM: Message edited by: uteconf footballwidow ]</small>