H said that we would talk tonight and he gets home in 45 minutes. I don't know what to say. I don't want to LB.........

Today he told me that he didn't know if he was in love with the ow. H also told me that he was home only for the kids. But a few days ago he said that he wanted to work on our M???

Should I tell him to make a choice between us? Should I tell him that if he decided to leave then I will wait for him? I don't know what to say......

Where are you???????

lost

<small>[ October 08, 2002, 11:39 PM: Message edited by: lost ]</small>

lost:

Sorry for not seeing this post earlier. I've been BUSY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Work, buying a house, fixing our other house, rebuilding our M (very slowly).

I hope you're getting good answers from your other thread. A lot of good people have responded 2 you. I would try not 2 make ultimatims just yet. It doesn't sound like you're ready 2. (I know I'm not, and I've had more time since D-day than you).

all my best,

2long,

I am so messed up now. I talked to my H and I told him that the idea of him working with the ow makes me sick. I told him that I know he has told me that he doesn't speak to her anymore but just the thought of them working together makes me sick. I told him that I wish he would look for another job but that was his decision to make. H told me that he gets sick to and we are
just making each other sick. (I ignored that). I don't know if he wants me to tell him to leave so he won't be the bad guy. But I refuse to do that.

I didn't get to clarify myself but when he comes home I am going to tell him that he doesn't make me sick the job situation does. I also told him that by him not bringing home his check stub it makes me think he is lying to me about he hours he is really working. Did I LB?

2long, should I just stop telling H how I truly feel? Should I just stop worring about what he is doing?

lost

lost:

I think you're doing the right thing by making it clear that it's the si2ation, NOT your H, that makes you "sick." It might be better 2 just say that "the OW working at the same place as you hurts me" and leave it at that.

You do need 2 stop worrying about contact continuing, in the sense that it will just drive you nuts. I have 2 keep reminding myself the same thing all the time. It affects my mood, which can affect how my W and I interact, and I don't like that. So, it can be hard 2 not worry, but if you do it, and show your H how much you love him, really, he'll respond positively.

take care,

2long,

I just wrote you in another post but thank you and I am really really going to try. At this point all I do is cry. And I make myself sick with worry. My H told me that we can't even watch t.v. without me crying. And if he says something that I feel is not right, I cry. I am tired of worrying. I was going to wait up for him but I am so tired that I have decided not to wait. Well maybe I'll just tell him that then go to bed. Do you see how crazy I sound.... And I know it. I think I have to go back to the Doctor and get on another anti-depressent.

Who knows what will happen next. Only time will tell. H may even tell me he wants to leave this weekend, that's when he said we would talk again. Up untill that point I am not going to mention the A again. WISH ME LUCK.

lost