HI All

Strange things have happened last week after 2 weeks of no contact from my wife, her freind called and arranged to meet me after work on sat , i agreed and on sat my wife turned up instead, we had polite small talk i desperatly wanted to ask her if she had been thinking about us but i did not just acted normal she left i felt heartbroken i think she may hae just come in to see if she had any felling for me left.

I wrote her a letter expressing my fellings and the fact that i would be willing to give thinkgs another go , but my freind talked me out of giving her the letter he says it just tells her that she could walk all over me i am so confused part of me know s that she is stubbourn and i have to make the first move but then she will know i am still longing after her what next I am confused her freind is coing to see me tomight i dont want to look as if i have moved on cos i have not but how should i act as if everything is ok ?

I disagree with your friend. I think you should definitely write her that yes, you're up for another go BUT, (and this is the big, huge BUT) only under certain conditions. These, of course, will include a clear non-contact commitment on her part.
That or similar should also have been the content of the plan B letter. Did it contain such a line?

I agree with Nick...give her the letter and she what happens. If you know she is stubborn and you are going to have to be the one to make the first move, then I think the letter would be a good way to do it. But, as Nick said, you have to be firm with the conditions.

brokenhearted (by the way, bhearted love the screen name!)

Dear Wifes name,

I hope you are well? And Socks and Jett, Gucci is fine still being weird.

This is the hardest letter I've ever written. I would first like to apologize for my part in the demise of our marriage. I foolishly pursued my own interests I.e. the shop assuming you would simply understand and be supportive. I know that you say that you want your space and independence; I helped create a void in our marriage that allowed the affair to happen. I was too busy making money and trying to get us everything when I should have been having fun with you, I really believed that I was always there for you when you needed me. But if that isn’t so, then I was wrong, very wrong and I apologize to you from the bottom of my heart for all the pain I have caused you in the last few weeks.

More than anything else in this world, I would like to be able to put the mistakes of the past behind us and build a better life together. I want us to strive to grow while avoiding the same mistakes that got us to the place we find ourselves now and more than anything else, I want us to go forward together.

The past few weeks have been the most difficult time of my life. The pain and
emptiness that I experience on a daily basis is almost too much to bear. My only saving grace is the thought of us being together and happy again some day. Unfortunately, I find now that is slowly being shattered as well.

Since this began, I've been trying to give you hope for the marriage by learning how to be a better husband to you. To give you hope that you could return to a marriage that you wanted and for us to build a great life together filled with all of the things we both love.

I still want us to have a life together that’s changing and growing; one that’s built on trust and centered on each other and make the most of our lives. I love you Wifes name and I always will we both said and did things over the last few weeks that I regret deeply; I want you to be my wife. I know this hurts and you know it hurts me too. When I married you I meant what I said. I want you to be my wife and I want to grow old with you. I want us to have a lifestyle in which we will never have to separate again. I want to be your best friend and confidant, and the one person who is always there for you. I have loved you for the last 8 years with you 7 of which I think were the best years I have ever had, when we were together I was the happiest man on the planet I just hope that you can see past the last year and remember how good we have been together. I feel like I have lost part of me and of course my best friend, I so wanted to be with you and your family to help you though this tramatic time and I want you to be my best friend too. I have realized recently what is important to me and it is you I hate not knowing how you are if your happy or sad, I hope you realize that I would do anything for you as you mean the world to me.

I have tried the best that I know how to express my love for you and my desire to have you in my life as my wife again. But I don’t know what else to say. I will always be here for you and I hope you know that.

I just really needed you to know how much I still love you and how sorry I am for any mistakes that I made. They say that we should learn from our mistakes, and I know that’s true but I just wish the lesson didn’t cost so much.

I was blown away by you when we met and I love you more today than I did when we first married. I can’t sit here and say that I now know all that I need to know about relationships, but I can honestly say that I do know a lot more about friendship, honor, cherishing, being passionately creative, supportive and even simple companionship. And I think that I have been a supportive and loving man. The type of man that I hoped you would be proud of to call your husband; the same pride I felt so many times when I called you my wife.

I am still dedicated to make our marriage a place you will really want to be.

I f you really wanted to make a go of things again we could change everything I have realized what is important to me and its not a nice house, car and own business its you that I want.

I know that you are scared that you would just waist another 6 mths and we would be in the same place down the line I know that if you were sure that we would look back in 6 mths and see how much we have achieved, but we will never know if we don’t try.

Thank you for a wonderful 8 years, I regret nothing and in my memories I have only happiness, and love for you, strange after everything that has happened but that’s because I love you more than the last few months would ever change.

I miss the little things waking up next to you in the morning and looking forward to seeing when I am at work, its hard to imagine life without you and to be honest I never have imagined life without you just looked forward to our fantastic future that we had together, when you called me a few weeks ago when I was at my mums I felt as if all my prayers had been answered, you told me all the things I wanted to hear an dhow I wish that nothing had changed that I know you are probably still in a fog and I hope you will relies one day that I was not all bad an we did have a great life together.

I have packed all the stuff I believe you wanted, if you want anymore things just ask.

I am getting a copy made of the dolphin video, once I get it back I will let you have it I would appreciate if you could give me the smart card out of the camera and the 2 water proof ones, I ll pay and get copies made for you, if you want you can leave them at your mums and I will collect them.

Glad to hear that Wifes Bro is on the up and up, that’s good news after all.

If you ever want to talk to me you know where I am and I would be happy to help if I could

Please pass on my greetings to the family I spoke to Wifes Bro the other day I hope you don’t mind but I wanted to know how he was.

All my love forever

Charly

hers the letter i have wrote the only thing is that i can not mention the OM as it will not help i just want her to know that i am here for her, all advice gioven by freinds is dont let her know how you r felling i am just so confused

regards

charly