I have posted in the past in "IN RECOVERY" but I noticed that there are many different names in here so I was hoping for more suggestions
In march my H decided he didnt want to be married anymore,,, He told me he was 'used to me' 'we were going nowhere' and "he just needed something new in his life' I hung on,,,, he wanted me to leave then he didnt back and forth until May 16th when I discovered email from the OW Hers to him was I'll be late for work 2morrow, dont miss me 2 much' and his to her, simply, 'I Love You,' I lost it, I guess I dont have to say everthing I was feeling cuz we're all here for the same reasons...
Well, anyway, I confronted him and he lied for the first 10 mins until I told him I read the emails,,,,, He said they both knew it was wrong, it was already pretty much over, it was never going to get anywhere and they both knew it...... and he was going to tell her that I knew everything and they had to stop,
2 weeks later I decided to drive by his work at lunchtime,,, I found them both on a side street sitting in her car,,,, he says that they were talking there because they couldnt talk at work,,,, which I knew that. they were talking because she wanted to tell her H because it wasnt fair that me and my H were going thru this and she got to walk away freely
The next day she called me from work, apologized, said she knew it was wrong and that they had been backing off from each other for while now.... said she always thought of herself as a good person and doing this was totally devastating to her,,, shes been married for 20 years has 2 teenage sons, one of which works w/her and my H... She doesnt want her H to know, which I replied, 'If I found out, why couldnt he?' she completely freaked out that he could never know, she didnt want to lose her H, she was sorry, there was never any sex w/her and my H, which he has confirmed, and I believe him She said she cant leave this job for financial reasons and God knows if my husband loses this job we'd be homeless,,,, So they know that they just need to be friends.
For the next 2 months my H was absolutely crazy,,, He kept telling me he loves me, but he doesnt know if this is what he wants, doesnt know if we can get thru this,,,,,
We went away in July for our anniversary, that seemed to be a turning point for him, He bought me the most beautiful card, flowers, says he can handle working with her, they pretty much nod their heads at each other in the morning and get on w/their day, they work together but not closely, he says sometimes he looks at her and wonders what he was thinking,,,, He says he could never be with her again and that it was wrong in the first place because of me and her H.......
Ever since then he has been the man of my dreams,,, Hes loving, caring, sweet, pays attention to me, we've been going places, sex has been wonderful,,,, the only problem we have is when I start LBing, I still question why he has done this to us, why he let it happen, does he really want this anymore, does he still love me, (which he tells me everyday more than once) how did it get to the point that he wanted to leave, if he lied to me then why cant he lie to me now, if he thought he stopped loving me, what makes him think he does now,,,, I dont know, I guess I just have a million questions, but when I ask it just seems to put us a step back, He says he wants this marriage to work, and he loves me, why am I so afraid to believe him,,,, he has answered everyone of these questions more than once, but now he's starting to not answer anymore, and he just says "Hun, everything is fine between us now, I was just blinded for a little while, I loved you then and I love you now, can we just get passed this and move on' ..... why is that so hard to believe????????????????????
