Hello to everyone,
I've been lurking here since June which is when I learned of wifes EA with a guy she met on travel. Since finding the site and learning all that I could from here I started out on an intensive plan-A and it was working great. She was calling him about once a day from work and talking for approximetely 1/2 hour at a time sometimes longer. She had become quite distant and cold towards me so I opened her phone bill when it arrived. This is how I found out. She of course blatently denied it being more than a friendship and that she saw nothing wrong with it. That she has lots of guy friends and this one wasn't any different. Well I've read a hundred similar stories here on the site and so I started on my quest of plan-A. I told her my position on this guy in particular and that I couldn't stick around if she continued this way, so she agreed to no contact and I thought it was working. I monitored her phone calls (without her knowledge, she would get mad if she knew) and I saw that she had stopped talking to him. Everything seemed to be going great, she was back, I could tell emotionally and things seemed to be falling back into place. Until yesterday I found out that she had set up a new calling plan and had the bill sent to a friends house. She had never stopped calling him, didn't even pause. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> So I of course lost it, not too bad really. It could have been a lot worse if not for what I've learned here from the Harleys and from the great advice offerd here on a daily basis. I did blow it a little, she said she understood, that she would be the same way if it were her. But I'm afriad that I messed up a lot of what I had worked so hard to build.
So now the second part of this, my second d-day. She is traveling to the same place that she met him and is going to be seeing him again most likely. She just left and I'm again in a world of hurt. I just don't know what to do. She also told me that her plan all along was to tell him on this trip that they couldn't be friends anymore and that this was when she planned to break it off all along. This of course was after her lying to me over and over again until I finnaly conviced her that I already knew the truth, she finnaly came clean. I just don't know what to think anymore, she says she loves me and wants to work on us, but I don't know if I can really do this again. I have to live through the not knowing and finding everything out on my own again and I'm just not sure if I can. It was so hard the first time. I still love her and want her, but it's slipping from me fast, I can feel it. I'm tired of the pain caused by someone who is supposed to love me so much. I'm sorry, this turned into a rant. I'm not really sure if it all makes sence right now, but it's all I've got. Some advice would be great, thanks in advance.
