Hi all-<BR>I need some help here (when don't I). H came over yesterday to see daughter. It was not his normal vistitation day- he is out of town a lot. Since I couldn't find anyone to intervene with duaghter, I told him to just come to the house. We chatted breifly about nothing really and he left. When he brought her back, he stayed a little longer and played with her in the yard. When he left he told me he would be out of town all week and would like to see her on Friday ( again-not a scheduled visit day)<BR>My question is, since my H work schedule really doesn't allow a set vistiation schedule, it is almost impossible for me to have no contact. Should I modify this plan or should I go back to Plan A? I wasn't on A very long, and I am wondering if I should go back to that.<BR>Help me!!!<P>Cheryl

I'm no expert in Plan B, did the letter, but couldn't stick to it at that time. I've done all of our separations in Plan A. It can make your relationship pleasant, but in my case it has also made it easy for H to slide in and out of the house. I haven't been able to avoid that, but I don't recommend it. (Do as I say, not as I do )<P>If I go to Plan B, I will talk to my H about kids' scheduling--with adolescents needing rides several times a day, I don't think I can always handle it all, nor do I have family here and I don't want to impose on friends to that degree.<P>If I recall correctly, K had contact during B about the kids.

Lor, you remember correctly.<P>ceecee, I guess the issue is some consistancy in the behavior you're showing your husband. For example, you can be there when he shows up, but then leave and tell him that you'll be back at X:XX.<P>If you can deal with your husband, and not lovebust on him, than I always recommend plan A. I can't remember if you gave him a plan B letter. If you were using the separation as a "tool" to end his affair, I don't think you should continue (unless you can't stand to be around him). Clear??? If not, Chris has an excellent summary of Plans A and B.<P>To give you an example of the "confusion" of these plans from my casefile: I came over (scheduled) to visit my kids at our house. My wife was feeling mighty nice and had made us one of my favorite dinners. I thanked her for that after I got over there, and then basically told her not to let the door hit her on the way out (OK---I was much better than that). I had to make clear to her that a separation was a separation, and that she wasn't going to be able to have it both ways. This wasn't to be cruel to her---it was to protect her from the resentment that I was feeling about having my life and family ripped away from me.<P>Don't want to go back there... We had a fantastic weekend, BTW!