How old were you when the A happened?

I'll start--I was almost 38. (It seems to me when I first came ALOT of WS were around that age when A happened.)

Hi freshstart,

my WH was 42 when his affair started. I think this is a dangerous age. But I have read all "ages".

It just depends (I guess) what type of an affair they are dealing with. (MLC, runaway affair...)

take care
bb

My ex husband and I are both 37 he started his affair at 36 - we will soon be 38...

My H. was 43. I was 42. now going on a year and a half. Going to put a time limit on plan b, and then get on with my life.

My H affair from what I know started 3 weeks ago. I'm 34 and he just turned 37.

I read too once in the book Passages by Gail Sheehy that the late thirties is a prime time for a woman to have an A. I think it is for men, too.

Sadly, I made the biggest mistake of my life, the A I had, when I was 39. I met him online right before I turned 39, in fact. At that point I'd been married 17 years, and my children were teens or on the brink of being teens. My pastor said it was common , too, when children get to this age as mothers don't feel as needed. (I'd been a SAHM for years) OM was 46 when it started, although I know now that he had many other A's (many EA's, several PA's) throughout his M. When he and I met he'd been married 19 years, and still is M to my knowledge.

HP,FWS-now divorced
married 81
EA began 98, online
PA began 99-long distance person
Separated 00,
D Day 2-01
H filed D 7-01
OM separates,relocates here 8-01
ended it w/OM 7-02
D final 8-02
3 children

My husband starting cheating at 19 and continued on until he was 25...he has got alot of notches in his head board believe me

My H was 41 or 42 when he started A. I am 6 months younger. I am not sure when A started. I guess it is still going on. ??????? I think it is a dangerous age for men. MLC and all. I think the 30's are dangerous for women. I remember feeling the things my H talks about feeling for about a 5 yr period prior to what is happening to him. I worked through them, he had an A. We have older children and he has said "the kids are older they don't need me as much." Whatever.

I think any age is dangerous but the late 30's to late 40's seem to be "HOT" times.

Sharon

My FWH and I were both 43 when his A started. The ex-ow was 33. His was a MLC A.

Interesting...my H's EA commenced when I was 38 going on 39. He was the same age.

Of course OW is 10 years younger with no attachment.

I was 31 when my H had his affair. He was 32 and his OW was 24. He acted very much like a mid life crisis and had always been 'old' for his age.

My husband had 4 PAs the first 5 years of our marriage (he was 20-25 yrs old) Then he found the Lord and was steadfast to me for 19 years. This spring he turned his back on his faith and by late summer had 2 EAs on the internet. He turned 44 this year. Someone asked me if it was a mid-life crisis? Don't know-wouldn't make it any better. K

I was 33 when it began, ws just turned 34, must of been hard getting so old. He always took bdays very hard.

Honey

oops!

<small>[ October 12, 2002, 04:15 PM: Message edited by: Topie25 ]</small>

At the start of THIS time around <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I was 28, and my FWH was 27. In fact, the day I kicked him out of the house was one day shy of his 27th b-day!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> (H's other A's were prior to our actual M).

H may have been 'early' compared the the majority of WS's on here, however, there were a LOT of stresses within 5 months prior to the big blowout (my kicking H out).... the death of our son, another pregnancy (twins!), moving, and Christmas. I know, there are no excuses, but if there were, I think we've got the major stresses covered. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Karen

<small>[ October 12, 2002, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: Topie25 ]</small>

Wow! Thanks for all the replies. I see quite a pattern here.

Hopeful_person, we sound much alike. I was almost 38 when it started and OM was just turning 43. He had lots of As--never married--now I know why.

Yes, the stress factor was there, too. My H was actually RECOVERING from cancer. I sometimes wonder if mine was a delayed reaction to the stress of running the church on my own. (OM was only too happy to volunteer to help me out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> )
It certainly does not justify what I did but it did make me more vulnerable.

I'm sorry it happens to any of us--WS or BS-at any age. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to start fresh and to help one another here at MB and through prayer and friendship and learning to live each day in honesty.

STBXH was turning 39 the first time he mentioned DV, worked thru it I thought!! STBXH turned 40 and within a month told me that he was leaving for old Neighborhood friend, hard to call her HS sweetheart as she never finsihed HS!!! BIG Time MLC!!! I am 2 years younger!

DAwn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Yes, Fresh. Similiar situations, indeed. I looked back and saw that your husband has forgiven you,and I am so happy that you are in recovery. I pray for that day, but it looks like I have a long haul ahead of me.

I don't know what's happened to OM, thank goodness he moved back to his area after I ended it. I have a feeling he is already with someone else, and still legally married. Even when we were 'together' , he had a roving eye. It was outrageous! What a dummy I was.

It looks like we fell into the statistically correct area for having affairs, for women. How disheartening, that tragic human behavior can be so predictable!

Take care,
H_P

H_P, at least we can be thankful that we got out of the trap.

I hope there are better and happier days ahead for you.

Hugs.

Well...my H was the big 4-0 when his EA started, and we've been separated 3 months today, which coincidentally happens to be his 41st birthday. He 'came into his own' this year..confident, got rid of the glasses, got contact lenses, got rid of any 'uncool' clothes, and found out that women at work found him attractive. So..here was me thinking how lucky I was that my husband was so cute. Well..that didn't turn out quite the way I thought it would!