H had dinner with us Saturday night. I kept it light. It was ok.

Well, I made it through Sunday. Hard to believe.
My family game over for Turkey dinner Sunday afternoon. H took D for an hour after his soccer game in the morning. (He had called after soccer to ask me if it would help me if he took D for awhile so that I could have some time to prepare. He then called me when he arrived at this apartment to tell me his face was bleeding and would be a little late. I asked him if it was his shaving again. H always used to bleed when shaving. He responded yes, you know. Yes, I know).

In the meantime, I went to pick up my mother. He came in and dropped off D (she had fallen asleep in his car). Didn't realize my mother was with me. Came into the kitchen as we were preparing..."Hi Ma"...he says. Talked to her a few minutes and then left. He seemed upbeat enough. Not bothered by the fact that he wasn't a part of anything.

Tears slipped down my face as I was working at the counter with my back to both of them. He never saw them.

He left. Although I wanted to call him much later that evening, I didn't.

My mother grated my nerves only once today when she said that H fell in love with someone else and he should be happy. Let him go.

Bothers me when she talks like that.

As you can see from the time of this post, I woke up. Couldn't sleep. Thought about when Orchid called her H at 4:30 in the morning to tell him she was ready for the divorce. But I'm really not but perhaps, I need to be.

One more day and it's over.

Hi Terrified,

so you mean to say, your H didn't get angry??about anything?? and he was even polite and asked if it would help you out, if he took daughter so you have time to prepare.
hey girl, that sounds good! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I'm still sorry for the pain you are going through. It's too bad that he doesn't realize the pain, he is causing. But believe me, he will someday.

My H always told me: " No one gets away with causing "others" pain. It'll catch up someday.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> H always used to bleed when shaving. He responded yes, you know. Yes, I know). </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I got my H a "aloun" stick. It stops the bleeding. I don't know if this is spelt the same in english, but I know that it will stop the bleeding almost immediately. It burns abit but does help.
You might want to ask a "hairdressing shop" if they have this? Vets also have it when they cut the claws and it starts to bleed.
Just an idea, you'd maybe deposit a "little" point in his LB. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

take care of yourself
bb

Hello BB, Thanks for replying.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">so you mean to say, your H didn't get angry??about anything?? and he was even polite </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In one full day, so many things happen that whenever he does act civil, I think something is even more wrong. However, I didn't question him on it at all. Remained upbeat on Sunday.

Forgot to mention that he put some pictures up for me on Saturday night. I asked him where the hammer was because I couldn' find it. He then says it's at the apt. "Why don't you just go by one?" Okay, no prolem. I just asked.

Then he rants that I'm going to "ruin the walls the way I hammer" and then proceeds to do it himself but he continues that "he wants absolutely nothing to do with this". I tell him. Thank-you. I know. I appreciate it. (GAG).

Thanks for recommending the stick. However, H would probably throw it right back at me. I'm not sure these days anymore if anything I do is seen as manipulative.

Take care.

Hi Terrified,

I get what you mean, about him acting civil. I'd be waiting for the "evil" to come back soon! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I still think that you react very well. No matter what, don't let him get you playing his game. You can be very prowd of yourself and believe me, someday, he will be ashamed for the way he is behaving!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Forgot to mention that he put some pictures up for me on Saturday night. I asked him where the hammer was because
I couldn' find it. He then says it's at the apt. "Why don't you just go by one?" Okay, no prolem. I just asked.

Then he rants that I'm going to "ruin the walls the way I hammer" </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This got me "giggling" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> He was actually concerned about the walls, hmmmm. Why????
But still I think this was positive. You didn't ask him to do it, he had the urge to.
This is "cave man" thinking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> but of course he had to add: "he wants absolutely nothing to do with this" Terrified, he had to say that, he'd be loosing his face otherwise.
Again that sorta got me grinning.

Can't you remember back, when you were still a kid. You got mad about something, with someone and you were acting angry. Your anger started to lift and yet you just could't show the other person that you weren't angry anymore. You might of felt rediculous about your anger and yet, you just couldn't admit that you were acting rediculous.
I think we all did that when we were kids, didn't we.
The way you explained this "little" event just got me thinking back when I was a child and I would "pout" around.

Your H sounds as if he has gotten tired of acting angry or am I off track???

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for recommending the stick. However, H would probably throw it right back at me. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know your situation better.

You could given it to him and tell him: It's just that you don't bleed to death. Your daughter needs you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (that was ironic, I know hehe)

Well Terrified, I hope things will get better. Have trust in yourself and don't let him get you down.
Do things that will make you feel good and keep your head up high. You can be very prowd of yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

hugs
bb

Hey Blond,

Didn't respond sooner because I sent to my IL's this morning to deliver a framed picture of my D. I had already given them two mums and wanted to see them today although I knew it would be strained. However, I convinced myself that it was the right thing to do. Go see them with D regardless of if they blasted me. Well, they didn't. D had some homemake cookies and juice...my MIL offered me some coffee, I said no.

D and I had plans with friends with which we share a Thanksiving tradition. My IL's were having dinner for noon so we only visited for 45 minutes. We were gone by 11:15 but I felt better that I went. Felt extremely emotional as I was getting D in the car seat. I guess it has to come to this. I can't maintain a relationship with them "like before".

Went to my friends' and they had brunch waiting...we then went for a beautiful autumn walk. Just came home. Okay, so half the day is over.

Holidays are painful, aren't they?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can't you remember back, when you were still a kid. You got mad about something, with someone and you were acting angry. Your anger started to lift and yet you just could't show the other person that you weren't angry anymore. You might of felt rediculous about your anger and yet, you just couldn't admit that you were acting rediculous.
I think we all did that when we were kids, didn't we.
The way you explained this "little" event just got me thinking back when I was a child and I would "pout" around. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Great analogy...like a spoiled rotten child.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your H sounds as if he has gotten tired of acting angry or am I off track??? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think you're right on the mark but he'll never admit it. He really has to stick to his guns. That's always been my H.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Hi Terrified,

just a question, have you followed going_crazy's story??? You might want to talk with her.
She's fantastic and she might be able to help you.

Have you heard from your H again? How is he reacting?? Do you feel that his "anger" is reducing???
Sorry for asking so much, but I wish I could really help you.

I really feel with you and I'll like to tell you not to give up. Even if you might think that this will not work, believe me, things can change so quickly.

I am just really thinking about your H anger. It would be very interesting to find out what causes him to be angry. Have you ever looked into any Internet sites concerning "Anger and what causes people to be angry?"
I feel angry for instance, when I feel "helpless" and when I'm "confused" and when I don't know what to do. This makes me feel crazy and I get angry.

I'm just thinking. Share your thoughts if you wish.
take care
bb