just got out of the hospital. i called to say to the wife that i was hurting. the man she is with picked up the phone and started to swear at me. told me to never call there. i said i need to talk to my wife about some financial things, he then said we dont need a damn thing from you we are doing fine with out you. so dont call here again you @@#!$$, god it hurt so bad. i could hear my kids talking in the back ground. i dont know really who did it but after i took all the pills and vodka i had in the house i woke up 12 hours later with stitches in my head and a broken nose. i guess i fell pretty hard. after i got out i of the hospital, a few days later. they had me under observation. all the usual questions. are you going to do it again and all. i got home and tried to call to talk to my kids again. and the number has been changed... God please help me. this doesnt even seem like my wife. she has known this guy 4 weeks total. how can this happen? how can she like this man? why cant i reach her and the love for her have some affect. how can i stop crying?

Wow. What a story.
First things first - draw clear boundaries. That means, call a lawyer and affirm your RIGHT to see YOUR kids. You have that right, and no-one can take it away from you.

Ruak
I'm not really a regular, but I do lurk often. Please know that I'm thinking of you and your situation and offering up prayers for you. If you need to talk, I can be your sympathetic ear. Hopefully someone with more wisdom will be along soon. I just wanted you to know that someone is reading this and wanted to reach out to you in your time of need. *HUGS*

~Timid

Ruak,

I'm here too! If you need to cry.....do it. Just don't stop communicating your feelings. I was suicidal two years ago and have turned around. You can too. Your children need a father that is not a quitter. Are you planning to leave them for good and let the OM take over your responsibilities?

Don't blame yourself! Fight back! You deserve your kids and your life!

Have you contacted a counselor?

My thoughts are with you. God is with you.

Ruak - Are you seeking professional help (counseling)? Maybe you should--you'll need help getting thru this. It's helped me tremendously.

Ruak .... get help.

Go see a physician ... tell him/her everything .... this is a much bigger problem than Marriage Builder's can help you with.

Are you a drinker? Drugs? You've posted that you have abused your family in the past. Get help.

You have to get some serious therapy. You are not well.

Take care. God bless.

Pepper

first off, you have the answer to your problems in your post, . im not going to sit here and preach, cause i am far from perfect,but if you put your faith in God,it may take awhile, but your pain will be healed.as far as teh problem with your wife,i cant help on that,all i can tell you is dont give up, im going through some problems on my own, but after some heavy duty praying, i dont feel as bad as i did a few short weeks ago, i have this feeling that no matter what happens with me and my wife, things will be ok.dont get me wrong, i love my wife, and my family. but for you, maybe you need to turn your attention to God.

Hang in ther Ruak, you will get through this. As you have been told before, call a lawyer. You have a right to your kids. Also call a counsler asap, and see your doctor. Paxil helped me a lot. Take care.