My situation is that my WW's A apparently ended back in December when I told her of my hiring a PI and filing under grounds of Adultery. However, she hasn't quit her job and remains very attached to 2 girlfriends who have knowledge of the A. Anyway, we're close to reaching a settlement on my charges of A and settling everything out of court. If she's still in a fog and won't leave her job, there's not much I can do, right?

b,

You might try searching posts from K - (?) his wife kept her job with OM and they are in recovery.

It is very difficult to imagine a recovery of a marriage if the cheating spouse stays and works with the OM and the girlfriends that lied for her. I think it is cruel to believe that you can have true healing if she does not quite her job and her friends that lied to you. The fact that she did not may tell you where your marriage stands in her priorties. I wish you luck.

My FWH did not quit his job, and I did not demand it even though the Harley's recommend it. Why? Because jobs here are hard to find, especially ones he's qualified for. He has tried transferring out, no luck. Now I'm pregnant and he can't quit until the baby's born due to insurance. He says after the baby's born, if there are no tranfers, he will search out a new profession this summer. We'll see. He's handled his contact with the OW admirably over the last 10 months, however, this is not something I want to put up with for 15 more years (retirement).

Basically, are there other jobs in your area where she could get comparable pay for comparable hours? Are their extenuating circumstances (other than the friends and OM) that make leaving this job difficult for her? If so, be fair. Put yourself in her shoes. If she's showing no remorse and generally NOT doing anything to save the marriage, then it is probably doomed. But if quitting her job is the only point of contention, don't give up just because of it. For instance, our communication now is great, our quality time is super, the romance is back etc. There's too much good in my marriage right now to give him an ultimatum about his job.