The fog cleared *poof* just like that.

Sunday - determined that PA occurred
Monday - informed WW that I could no longer be married to her
Tuesday - WW pleads with me not to leave her - agrees to MB principals and NC letter

Cautiously moving to Recovery board... I am highly on the lookout for false recovery, but it seemed like the real her.

She knows that we both have alot of work to do, that *I* may not be able to get over the PA, but that it is possible to rebuild.

Thank God and all you wonderful MB people. I couldn't have done it without you.

<small>[ October 15, 2002, 11:46 PM: Message edited by: Optimistic Tiger ]</small>

Excellent news! Hopefully, this is it...the start of a new and wiser relationship for you both!

O_T make sure that your FWS reads The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage because they will be vital for a true recovery of your M.

If you haven't done so already, let your FWS know that she is human and that the mistake she made, you too could have made if the roles had been reversed. This may not be totally true but it shows her that you acknowledge that you are also a human being capable of making a mistake like hers.

Also let her know that you will NEVER, EVER throw the A in her face. Many FWS are affraid that their FBS will always carry the resentment and throw their A in their faces when they get upset with them.

It would also be a good idea to tell her that the old M is DEAD and good riddance, but that a new M ,much better than the old one, awaits both of you if you are both committed to following the The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage.

You might want to let her know that you want to hold a new M ceremony as a symbol of the NEW M and recommittment of vows towards one another.

TMCM, I have already done, or will do, everything you have said.

She has read the 4 rules. She will be reading SAA, HNHN and about 15 other books I have <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I know full well that we are not out of the woods yet, but I can now say we are in Recovery, as she has given the OM the brush-off. (She did it by phone, even though I suggested that she not talk to him. I know she has set back her withdrawal a bit, but she is a strong minded woman and will come through. - Besides, I won't give up my mindset of being able letting her go for some time anyway, due to the PA. I have already discussed getting over it with my IC.)

It is amazing how she can look back and see how that being 'in love' is a real high, and that she just got carried away.

Thanks mgm!

ST -> NSST -> BTST -> OT

Good news for you!

It's still a long road, but I hope you and your W make it.

Wishing you well from London.

Lisa

Tiger...

She's probably going to suffer emotionally. Try not to take her mood swings personally . (Yeah ... easier said than done).

If she is willing, encourage antidepressants for at least a year. It can be such a major help!

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Thanks Lisa! You hang in there!!! Love from Texas!

Pepper! She has been 'trying' to get over the OM for a couple of months, but without the committment to the marriage that just happened Tuesday. She has definately been having mood swings, and I am actually not having too much trouble dealing with them. She started on Celexa about a month ago. It took me three months to talk her into checking them out. I credit God, Celexa, and the Harleys (Plan A, baby!) for her turnaround.

You may have noticed that this was almost 'textbook' in that it was exactly six months from D-Day to R-Day. I probably could have gone on another two months, but the PA revelation helped me 'get over' her very quickly, and be ready to divorce. Actually the timing seems to have worked out fine. I think that without the PA, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> and the 4 month Plan A, I would not have made the necessary changes to myself and we could not have had true recovery.

ST -> NSST -> BTST -> OT

that's v good stuff, tiger.
in line with the other guys here, let me just add a word of caution. your ww told you this - as she told you all the other silly stuff before. so? she might change her mind tomorrow. she might get tempted again in a week. she might think "she deserves a bit of fun" or whatever the fog-logic dictates at the moment.
the good stuff is that there is a good intention. that's the start of the road, as it was the case for my ww. it takes some time to get there - and you're there now.
but it's only the beginning of a road, not the end yet. follow the road, and have a good journey!