It could be both - that it's advertisement OR that your H is visiting those sites.
IMO though, if your H is making a true turn around, and working on your M, then those messages could just be fallback from the PAST (NOT current use). It is quite possible that your H suddenly 'got it', and that's why his actions are showing that. However, those same actions could be his way of covering up more. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> The roller coaster ride sucks!
How comfortable are you with asking your H about them? Is your trust level high enough to believe him if he tells you, while looking you straight in the eye, that he has no idea why they're there? If you couldn't handle that as your answer... then don't ask yet.
When my H was signing up on various dating sites, he would use bullcrap information on his 'applications'. For example, he'd come up with some different surnames, as well as some different birthdays, etc. So sometimes, trying to retrieve a forgotten password with true information wouldn't help me.
But here's something I did that worked:
Seeing that I had access to my H's primary email address, which is the same one he used for his info to his other email addys, I used that to my advantage.
I wrote a letter to the site of the other email account, explaining to them that I (they thought it was my H) was having trouble accessing my information. I gave them a story about how my "crazy ex-girlfriend" had gotten into my mail, and had changed my password on me. They wrote back, but explained that they could not just go on this information alone, and requested that I answer the "personal question" for them. If I would do that, then they would give me the password.
The question was one that my H made on his own. It was: "girlfriend?" I was stumped! At that point, I knew that H had actually slept with 3 OW's, and was dating a bunch more. So I answered: "This may sound strange, but I've been doing a LOT of dating lately, and I'm not sure which 'girlfriend' I answered with. So here is a list of them from the last while back...". I then typed out about 5 or 6 different names. The first name being OW#1, which turned out to be the answer! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Anyways... I'm not sure if any of this experience of mine will help you. I can say for sure that
I DO NOT CONDONE OR SUGGEST MY OWN ACTIONS .... b/c it became addictive, and totally took away from my plan A. Yet at the same time, I understand the need for snooping - to find out what is really going on. (In my case, I already knew... but I was torturing myself by digging deeper and deeper - my lame excuse being that I wanted to protect any unsuspecting woman out there who may be falling for my H's lies). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
On a much more productive note: If your H is truly making a change, and trying to aid in the recovery of your M, how about trying out the MB concepts, and following them? (radical honesty, protection, care, no lovebusting, filling out EN questionnaires, POJA, etc). If he is trying to work on your M, then he will give you all of his passwords to EVERYTHING, he will be accountable for all of his time, he will answer all of your questions (although you will need to POJA that one, and limit 'question time').
Okay.. my next question, which should have been my first question: Where are you at in your M? Are you in plan A, recovery, unsure? IMO, all of our actions can change drastically depending on what area we are in.
I'll be on periodically throughout the afternoon, so I'll keep checking for an answer from you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Karen
