Even though I don't post regularly, I lurk on this board every day. This board keeps me sane and also gives me so much insight into my sitch and how to handle it.

By being in Plan B since Jan 02, I have regained my sanity and I have healed and grown so much. I have even realised that I could never, ever go back to my old marriage with my WS. I still pray for reconciliation but in a new marriage with WS.

WS is currently overseas on his own. He bought 10yo a mobile to keep in contact with her and 3yo way back in Dec 01. There is minimal contact between us. He phones DD's about twice a week. I can't even remember when I spoke to him last. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

As far as he is concerned I don't know he is overseas, neither DD."But we live in a small world" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Last night OW phones DD to inform them that WH is overseas and if they want to contact him they must do it via her. She then goes into a long speech with 10yo telling her that she is being disrespectful towards her father as her mobile is never switched on and that she will give her a hiding if that cell phone is not kept on. She apparantly loves hitting her own children but to date she never lifted her hands on my children which I thank God for because I know I will go ballistic the day this happens.

When my DD told me about this conversation I was fuming. I told my D that if there was a need to contact her Dad she can arrange it with me and I will find ways and means to get hold of him. I also told her not to phone the OW as she is of no value to us and is a very sick person.

I feel like F&*))))))^*% smashing her face.

Friend told me not to react as this will give her power over me and that the OW wants this reaction from me as for months now I have left them to carry on with their lives without any interference from my side. She told me OW is feeling insecure as this is the first time that WH is away from her for so long.

I am still seething with anger and it is with great restraint that I did not pick up the phone yet to give her a bit of my mind.

They are two sick, sick people.........Why did he not make arrangements with the kids regarding communication before he left.

OW as his secretary has also lost perspective as she does not know where her duty as secretary or lover stops <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

They have also been so wrapped up in their warp little world that they did not even keep pace with technology. My D must phone her and she will send him a fax, how ignorant.

Does he not know about internet cafe's, e-mail, IM or even having you mobile converted to receive international calls or what about just using the damn telephone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I wish now I could just find a person in NY who can walk up to him and say "Hi, I have your DD's on the phone, here you can speak to them" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Thanks for reading

Dear ginnyf
I hope you find a newyorker that will be real cool hey.
(LOL)
Think about it your H girlfriend has just vented
some negative feelings. its called insecurity
dont have much time
you are always in my prayers
will see you soon.
love and all the best

I'd file a restraining order against this or any stranger that threatened to spank my child...

Ok it's not to mature..but just the thought of that situation makes me nuts...

I would impower your daughter to learn to be strong and to hang up immediately each and every time this woman calls...do not engage with her at all....ignore ignore ignore...but God that's hard for me just reading this...so I KNOW you are really strong....

I would not ever ever ever let this woman near my children....who exactly does she think she is...but you have done extremely well in not reacting...but I would seek legal council with her threat of spanking...I would do so just to have it officially noted somewhere....
and I would it make it clear to my daughter that if this woman ever laid a claw on her to call you immediately....and get her out of there...

All I can say this about this ugly ugly OW is UGGHHHHH!!!
(ps. if you just slip me her number I'd be more than happy to call her...and wish her oH so well... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ...just kidding but we can dream...

peace to you and yours Ginnyf the strong.
ARK

Ginny ~

I think the issue is very clear.

What would you do if this was ANYONE else calling your daughter and threatening to hit her?

Call an attorney, call the police and have them talk to your daughter and file a police report, even if you can't press charges.

I would also point out the police and the attorney that this woman is trying to interfere in the channels of communication between child and father.

Do NOT allow this to go unchallenged. It's time to be Mamma BEAR.

Thank you for the replies:

Bramble Rose I will act on what you have told me and just have this whole incident put on record.

I've had a terrible night. Received WS response to why he cannot pay child support. This is what he claims in his affidavit. We are appearing in court on 25/10

My salary quoted is incorrect and I can get work that pays me a better salary for my qualifications or just hold down two jobs.

Because he is no longer in the house, grocery, electricity etc bills had to drop by 50%. He quote amounts which goes way back to 1992. He must be stuck in a time warp.

These are the things we had whilst he was at home but which he now claim is unnecessary:

End pool maintenance contract as I can clean the pool myself.

Retrench gardener as I can do the gardening myself.

Retrench housekeeper as I can put children in aftercare and do housework myself. (Aftercare will cost more than housekeeper)

We never entertained or took children out so me listing entertainment expenses is not warranted.
Take aways once every two mnts, holidays never.

As for clothing we never spend any money on clothing, not for him, children or myself. (Wonder why he got compliments as the most sassy dresser at his office)

Petrol expenses - I never drive around only use car to get to work.

He will only pay school fees but no other costs regarding education.

PROTECTING THE OW:
Marriage has broken down long before he met OW and I was aware of it.

He lives in a humungous house with 9 rooms. Ow shares half of the cost of rental.

She carry all her own costs, holidays are split 50/50.

She pays for the flights of her children once a month to them.

She helps him financially to maintain their standard of living.

They need a full time housekeeper as they live very busy lives.

This is now the woman who gave up custody of her children to her ex/h because she was struggling financially. Also keep in mind that she earns the salary of an ordinary secretary.

No money is spend on her as she supports herself. Then he list their expenses which is three times more than mine. This is for two people staying alone.

How deep in the fog is still man still.

Today I feel like just giving up.

Bump