I have got to biggest fool out here. I have been oblivious to everything. I was so trusting and niave in the beginning and look what it got me. My husband and I have a long history. We met 16 years ago when I was 15 and he was 17. We dated for a while and split up for a while. We got back together in 1993. We moved in together in 1996 and got married in 1999. Yesterday was our 4 year wedding anniversary. We have two beautiful children, our son Jordan who is 3 and our daughter who is 8 months old. My husband has always been my world where everything evolved and still does around him. I've never had very many friends. Kind of a loner I guess. So he has always been the center of my world. He on the other hand is extremely out going and has lots of friends. A lot of female friends. It never bothered me at first. But then I kept finding things but he could always explain them away. And now I see how stupid I was. Any way shortly after my son was born I had an encounter with a girl who said she had had an affair with my husband and had been since like a month after we moved in together. She claimed she had been pregnant with his baby but lost it. She said she was through and didn't want to break up our family. I was stupid and believed her. So much has happened and so much drama in the last six years I can't even begin to tell all. Then I broke into his email and found out about another person. He said it was all a set up because he knew I was checking up on him. I again believed him. Come to find out he had continued to see her for 7 months and was still seeing the other girl too. The other girl claims to have had another child by him. He denies all of it except the 7 month affair. I can ask question all day about that one and he will answer every thing. But now I am so confused, hurt, angry, overwhelmed, etc. I don't know which end is up anymore. I don't trust anything he says or does. I am suspicious of everything and feel so lost and alone. I love him but hate him for doing this to me and our family. He swears that I am the only one for me and that he is not going to leave me or his family for anything or anyone. He loves me and only me. But I don't believe anything that comes out of his mouth. We still have wonderful moments and then there are setbacks. I truly believe I need to be on Zoloft or something. With the new baby and work and trying to save my marriage and every other aspect you can think of, I am so stressed out. I am in such turmoil. Some days I think I should just pack us up and leave and others I don't see how. I truly can't imagine life without him. He has been my life for over half of my life. I am a hopeless fool. How can I still love someone who has done this to me? How can believe he loves me when he has done the things he has done? What if he really does have a child with this OW? How do I know things are different now? How do I know it won't happen again? Once a cheater always a cheater? In some ways I want it to work. I want to have a happy marriage. A marriage I always dreamed of. Is it possible? How do you rebuild from so much deceit? I trusted him whole heartedly and he walked all over me and abused it. Can you really ever get it back? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hopeless fool -- Please change your name. You are neither hopeless nor a fool. We have all been deceived and you are not a fool for believing the man you married and trusted. It hurts and it hurts very deep. I am so sorry you are going through this.

There is hope for many marriages. It is good you found this site. Start by reading. It helped calm me down tremendously when I first found out. Three books that I found useful were : Surviving an Affair by Harley, After the Affair by Jennifer Abrahm Spring and Private Lies by Pittman. I've also found Divorce Remedy by Michelle Weiner Davis to be helpful later.

Also, find WAT's quick start guide on this website, but in the Just Found Out forum.

You are overwhelmed and that's a natural reaction. Try and stay calm and get as much information as you can. You don't want to make a rash decision that will effect you and your baby.

If you can't get to a bookstore, you can order the Harley book online at this website. I would also try and read as much about infidelity on this website as you can. It is a complex situation and you need information so that you can make decisions about your life.

I am so sorry you are in pain. We all wish we could take away the suffering, but we can't. What we can offer is a place for you to express your feelings and fears. You are not alone.