This subject was recently brought to my attention on another post of mine, it seems that a lot of us here kind of have our own definitions of what plan A is. I've seen everything from being a doormat, to supressing your "taker", to plan a being about improving yourself.

Now it had been so long since I read S.Harleys article about plan A,I went back there to check it out. The overall definition he gives is the following:
"Plan A is for the betrayed spouse to negotiate with the wayward spouse to totally separate from the lover without angry outbursts, disrespect, and demands."
and
"Remember, plan A is negotiating (without anger, disrespect or demands) to eliminate the annoying behavior or improve the meeting of emotional needs."

Just wondering if maybe your definition of plan A differs from this, and if so how? And had anyone else forgotten what plan A was really about?
Just my thought of the day.

DU

<small>[ October 18, 2002, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: definitely unsure ]</small>

I think Plan A means all those things you named. There are different levels of the Plan. Steve Harley told me it also means "being a doormat, it can seem grossly unfair,and it involves being an enabler to a certain extent".

Plan A is more difficult than Plan B in a lot of ways, cuz you are multi-tasking. Working on yourself, working on your marriage, trying not to LB, adjusting to financial changes, household changes, possibly dealing with children/family changes, etc... Once Plan B time comes around (if needed), you should be ready for it!

While Plan A is a format, it is also subjective, because each of our situations are unique. We need to tailor it to fit what we are capable of and what might be required of us to meet our goal - restoring our marriages to wholeness.