Please bear with me as this is my first time ever, posting on this computer.I just dont know what to do and thought someone out there will have been through the same situation?
My husband had an affair with someone he worked with, they were just good freinds! at first ,then end last year his feelings changed, she moved back to uk, and her husband left her for someone else. i will try and keep this short!He was leaving me in the summer for her, then after 4 dys he phoned saying he had called it off and it was a mistake, yes i took him back with the promise all contact would be severed,Then 2weeks ago he broke down saying he had been texting her as he cant get her out of his mind,and she is now not contacting him, told him to get on with his life!he moved into camp 2 wks ago but has been back for stuff most days. He is besotted with her and all he thinks about is her,he is to me either depressed or going through the menopause he is not eating ,sleeping,lost weight,no confidence and has lost all get up and go!, i have managed to convince him to go for proffessional help and he is seeing a councillor in 2 wks, i know he still has feelings for me, but i am going so i can get away and leave him to be on his own, he is giving me everything,but it is so hard,has anyone been through this, where you know he is making the biggest mistake of his life but he can not see it ?

I dont know what you mean about leaving or something like that??? Are you seperating or planning on it? I am not sure that is the best rememdy for the situation being seperated myself.. if you want to save the marriage.. seperation makes it harder at times.. although has it's good points.

We have all been there, welcome, and I hope you will find friendship and hope here... we know what it is like to be married to someone who is obsessed or "in love" with another, not "in love" with us, anymore... so they think at the time.

My husband has hints of coming out of his fog, but we have now been seperated over a year... very difficult yr.

I hate this, it is hard and it is sad to see someone we love become someone we don't even know???

It is very difficult and you must let him go and let God take over. We cannot change them, fix them, etc., but we can change ourselves... this is the best we can do.

We can love them and eliminate what we call love busters.. the first plan of action is usually a good plan a...r ead the site and get the books if you can... The Harleys' have a great plan if you follow it, many a marriage has been saved from infidelity.

It is the worst imaginable situation we all ever imagined.. and here we are.
YOu can change the way you act and that might help. But you must let him go, and it sounds like you are doing this.

I am sorry u are here, I'm sure you will hear more from others. Weekends are somtimes slow.
Hugs, HONEY

Up date on my situation is.... he came round in a right state on monday night,he had phoned her and she has someone else!!! so much for her love for him,anyway it brought it all to a head as he collapsed and was taken to hospital, he was out the next day, he had not been eating and it was the stress of the last 8 mths,he has stayed here but i told him he keeps his room in camp,and i will still go back early,he is now starting to realise she was not the person she led him to believe, but he keeps asking why he let it take such control of him to the extent where he was obsessed??? this i dont know how to answer.I have told him he has alot of hard work ahead not only to come to terms of how an idiot he was but if he wants to make a go of it with me, then words are meaningless and he now has to show it, long road ahead and who knows how it will end, but i know this is his last chance and i will not be here if it should ever happen again, he has said so far in between his tears that it is me he loves and needs and needs me to help him through, i think i have enough strenght left,and he is now willing to go to marriage councilling, so we can understand where and why it all went wrong, and to learn how to change for the better and it not slip back to those times again.
will let you know how things go.