Boy, it's strange to be posting again after such a long time. I posted here a bit last spring as "stickingw/it", since then much has changed, but much has stayed the same. Once again, I would appreciate some of the wonderful advice there is to be found from all of you.
As back ground, I discovered in August of 2001 that my husband of 15 years had been having an affair since about October 2000. He spent an entire year in a terrible pattern of begging me to take him back, "breaking up" with OW and then going back to her. After trying 2 other marriage counselors we started talking with Steve Harley in the spring of last year. Unfortunately, even SH didn't break this pattern.
Finally, at Steve's urging I packed up my kids and moved from Texas to Wisconsin at the end of August. Soon after I got here, WH again begged me to give him another chance and swore he ended contact with OW. For the last two months I have tried to be friendly with WH but have been very reserved about the future. For his part, WH has calls me several times a day and has been up to visit every other weekend, however something didn't feel right about the situation. I didn't trust him, so I began pulling back even more. Finally, I told WH that I didn't know where his head or heart were, but I knew they weren't in this marriage and I was ready to call it quits for good. This has been impossibly hard an me.
Low and behold, this morning WH tells me that while he has not in fact been in contact with OW for 7 weeks, when they "ended" things OW gave him 45 days to change his mind. A little fact WH failed to mention before. This is TOTALLY typical. Now WH sayes that he is sure that he wants to fix marriage and tells me he plans to -- get this -- call OW to tell her!
I let WH know that his calling her was NOT okay with me and that I needed to be totally privy to any communication. He refused to let me be on the call (which I'm not sure I would want anyway). A no contact letter seems obvious, but the idiot already used that trick in an earlier breakup.
First I wonder if I should care at all, he is clearly one of the most dishonest men on the planet. What do you think?
