I have changed my user name, because i think maybe his gf is on here to. However. I need special prayers today because i have set a plan in motion that may very well end this once and for all. I don't know about you all but i promised not to spy or snoop. It has been months since i had. Well, I did last night. I knew he was still talking to ow. I didn't know it was 5 and 6 times a day, all times of the day and night. So here i am. He says he loves me. They are just friends. (although they had a PA,and EA, and i have already heard plans of being his wife about 6 months ago.) I feel like my plan A has enabled his affair, HELP

Steve Harley told Terrified that if she felt as though her plan A was enabling her H, then that means she was doing a GREAT plan A!

The pain of realizing continued contact is devastating - depending on the situation, it can be worse than the original d-day. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Give yourself a few days to recover your emotions to a more stable level. Then decide what you want your next move to be. Do you want to do more plan A at that point? Or will it be time to prepare for a plan B.

In the meantime, do your best to continue your plan A. If you can, you may want to tell your H that you know that contact has continued. Say it in a matter of fact tone, that doesn't imply blame, or require an answer from him. "I know that you are still in contact with OW and I feel hurt". Then let it go.

Now, as far as the snooping goes - it's a necessity every now and then. Congratulations for being able to keep from doing it for so long (I was NEVER capable of that! - that's why I'm so impressed when others can do it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ). You should be proud of yourself. And knowing how much this has set you back, should help you to stay away from 'checking up' on your H for a few months yet.

Take care,
Karen

Thanks for the reply K. Its good to know there is someone out there that is listening and at least i don't feel so alone. I have been at plan a for a year the first of NOV. I just feel abused and unappreciated, I am beginning to wonder if I have made the right choice.

I will say many prayers for you. I know those feelings very well. I too snooped this morning after weeks of not and found what I didn't want to see. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> You're definitely not alone.

Still Crazy,

I hope beyond hope that i can keep the results of snooping to myself. I am not a good secret keeper. I will pray for you today as well. I don't know your story, and i am not good enough at this to find your thread, help Thanks S,