Hi havn't posted for a while. WH and I are 5 and a half months post d-day (2 year A)

I've been on anti depressants for 2 months and they have helped heaps. WH was very patient in the begining but tired of the questions and talk of his A.

In the last 2 months I have been trying really hard not to discuss it. I have only bought it up twice. One being today. I just "needed" to talk about it, nothing in particular, probably just feeling low because of a few stresses in my life this week. WH response was to shut off and say "Get over it".

I know I didnt help things but I sometimes (and I dont think twice in 2 months is too bad) just need to talk. If I never mentioned it, it would never be spoken of for the rest of our lives.

I just feel like he has moved on, had 2 fun filled years, while I had two of the worst years of my life and this year has been no better. OW has moved on, and I'm the only one left with the shattered mess they made. I feel like a doormat everyone has just wiped their feet on.

Am I unreasonable to want to occasionally bring it up and just talk about what has happened? Are my thoughts and feelings normal?

Any advice or comments, whether positive or negative will be really appreciated. Thanks.

Hi Robyn.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I just feel like he has moved on, had 2 fun filled years, while I had two of the worst years of my life and this year has been no better. OW has moved on, and I'm the only one left with the shattered mess they made. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think feeling this way is reasonable and "normal." I know I have felt this way.

Are you to in MC together? A good MC can help guide these discussion in a productive way.

What I'm hearing is your H maybe feels like you're just raking the muck, but for you, there is a reason for talking about the A. What is that reason? What were you hoping to get out of the conversation?

Thanks Riff,

Yes we are in MC together, but H is a "non talker" his idea of talking is about the kids, weather etc, not talking about emotional stuff.

I dont know what I wanted to talk about the A for. Maybe just to get reassurance. Maybe just to feel close and connected to him. Maybe to get it off my chest or maybe to find out where he is at with it all?

I had an individual session with MC last week and bought up a touchy subject, WH engaged in something sexual with OW that he wont with me. M said to set a time to discuss it with WH. She said that I need reassurance that the reason isnt because OW is "better" than me. I already know the reason and it is because she is "better" than me. I didnt tell MC this because I find it distressing and embarassing. When I asked WH to set an appropriate time to discuss the matter he wouldnt and said that to set a time would just put unnecessary pressure on us???????

Hey Robyn. Stick w/ the MC. Give things time. I understand needing reassurance (boy, do I!). I think that need becomes amplified for us BS's.

Maybe rather than talking about the A or the OW, talk about needing reassurance?