This was part of an e-mail message I received about a week ago from my WW. I was in the shower this morning (where I do my best thinking) and for some reason that statement hit me. As a BS, I really don't have a choice but to get "through this," unless I want to live the rest of my life in misery. I realize to get through this means to learn from it, to eventually heal from it and be a better person because of it.
But where does that leave the WS? If they tell us they know we WILL get through it, have they already convinced themsleves that they ARE through it? Since they really have never DEALT with it, is that part of reason for the failure of the A. I would think not having to deal with it and just moving to another relationship would mean they are running. They think they have found true love, but isn't it really just imitation love?
Just a thought.

HW

I think they do this to lessen their own guilt, they are not really saying it for us. They are saying it because they want to believe that we will be fine, that they are doing us a favor. Then they don't have to feel as bad. My H tells me things like this. He keeps telling me he KNOWS I'll be remarried soon. Stuff like that. I don't think they can deal with the guilt that perhaps they've ruined our lives. Remember these WS's loved us, and I think they still do deep down. I think it KILLS them to think of what they are doing to us. So it helps them to think that we will get through and be fine.

I myself is a WS. I can definitely state that WS does not normally enjoy causing unhappiness to BS nor feel that BS will get through A by WS.

In my case, I am extremely repentant about what I did ( ONS X 2 - many years back). I feel much lighter after having disclosed these in March 2001.
Of course, I have to accept all the rough edges that are coming my way since disclosure. While I do that I try and comprehend how much pain, anguish and suffering I have brouhgt in the life of my BS, whom I love very dearly, by my irresponsible act.
So IMHO the sentiment about WS can not be generalised. I do not know if others agree with me?

Ute,
I think you hit the nail on the head. They say things like that for THEIR own benefit, to help alleviate THEIR guilt. It makes THEM feel better, and helps convince themselves no bad consequences will come to us because of THEIR actions. Totally fog-ese language <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />