Hi,
I have included my story at the bottom of the page. I have a question regarding this. My husband is currently staying in another state, therefore

(1) I do not know if he is having an A, but have all signs and "fog" talk that he is

(2) If he is I don't think he would tell the OW he is married. (He did this when he cheated before)

My question is if I am NOT exposing the affair or if the OW doesn't know that he's married, how can I effectively use Plan A? I haven't been having frequent contact, but am technically in Plan A.

Hi,
If you are not sure than put the doubts back on him.

Let him know that you are uncomfortable about something....can't quite pinpoint it but something just doesn't smell right. Then watch his reactions.

1. unaccounted time.
2. change in personality.
3. change in intimacy
4. unaccounted funds, bills stacking up

Sniff the air. Smell his clothes. If he gets paranoid, ask him what about? If he gets defensive say something like..... yea you feel it to? Wonder what it is? Don't let on how much you know or think you know. Don't let him know your status. Watch his reactions. Most of the WS are bad actors. Good liars but bad actors. Can't seem to remember their lines correctly and babble a lot.

Watchout for the babbling.

Read up on the plan A/B sections located above.

hugz,
L.

Hi Orchid,
I almost sure you've posted to me before. However, I follow your posts ALOT and LOVE your advice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . My situation is different. We are currently separated, I have brought all of this to his attention as far as my fears, doubts, all of the questions you can think of. (He is STILL denying an affair. ADAMANTLY!!!) But because of the separation and the fact that he is approx 4hrs from me, this is where I stand. I don't know WHICH approach to take and I don't want to make a mistake. I have actually read the alot of the info on the cite, but I don't know what to do if I don't know about the affair, so there's nothing to expose and the fact that we don't have much communication and I have been Lb'ing like crazy for the past week when we did. Please read below and HELP me.

my story

<small>[ October 27, 2002, 01:57 AM: Message edited by: luvhazeleyes ]</small>